Thursday, April 16, 2009

RG_Sumedh aka Paplu

Also known as Rapchandus to many, Paplu has so many fuck-ups in his life that a page falls short for his character molestation. Events such as him colliding with Milinda and falling on the court, stating in front of an intern interviewer that the density of a brick was 800 and then realizing that the density of water was 1000 and his roommates leaving the room all upto him, are, to be frank, praising Paplu. He’s done so much in the four years here that Paplu history is beyond words. But, let’s start from the very beginning.

Paplu underwent his complete education at S. V. Joshi Marathi Madhyamik School. He is from the famous posh are of Mumbai, Dombivalli. Yet, his modest self claims to be from Navi Mumbai to cover it up. Paplu tried shagging very late in life, but very early for his if you go by his knowledge of his own sexuality. He could not ejaculate and thought that he was impotent. On being persuaded repeatedly, he shagged once, and then again and then ever so often. His whole wing knows that he shags naked. His mates had filled the hole for the latch of his window with M seal and one fine day, Paplu forgot his ritual of tying a rope on his window. His whole wing saw him shagging naked. When Ronak claimed to have seen his dick, Paplu claimed “Nahi, maine haath se chhupa liya tha.” In his first year, Paplu used to put pseud as if he had n girlfriends. Paplu is recognized as the inventor of gaalis such as Bhosadpappu, Bhosadbomb, Madarbomb, Land halwa and the famous teri maa ki chut mein baingan ka bharta.

His first big bulb in the insti was when he was sleeping in the ID class. His then hostel warden DJ came to wake him up. He looked at Dj and crashed again. This time, DJ made sure Paplu would wake up. Paplu woke up and said –“sir, sir…just came”.
DJ –“what you just came in class”.
Paplu-“no, no sir…sleep just came”
DJ give up…later DJ was found telling everyone this incident pointing finger towards our dear Paplu.

For a question in the ID paper that asked “you” to lift a mass up from the ground to a certain height, he drew a stick figure and wrote “you” next to it. The he thought that since “you” was him, he should write “me” and so he did and he struck off the “you”. Then again it struck him that the prof was the one who would examine the question, so his perspective matters more. He then struck off the “me” and wrote “you” again.

When Paplu returned from the summer holidays, a cute squirrel family had built a nest outside his window. On the adjacent wall, Chittad had scribbled something to piss Paplu off. Paplu, instead of being pissed , looked rather surprised and said " Fuck, squirrels ne do mahine mein likhna bhi seekh liya kya?"
The wing were just through with their quizzes and went to the beach to blow off some steam. While sitting by the sea, puffing away to glory, Paplu ke dimaag ki batti jal gayi!

He pointed to one of the bright lights far away and said "Abey woh dekh , srilanka!!!!"

In the first year, a Godav Alumnus had contributed money to set up water dispensers in each wing. Chittad asked him what water dispensers were for. Quick came his reply "They are portable toilets" Chittad bulbed. Paplu justified "Water dispenser means where you dispense water. So it is a portable toilet where we can dispense our urine. Since the rooms right in the middle are so far away from the toilet that they have decided put a dispenser right in the middle of the wing"
Paplu’s fundaes are known to people who don’t even know Paplu. Here are a few:
1.Paplu is obsessed with brushing in the night, his funda for the same being that with a smelling mouth a girl won’t allow him to lick her pussy, and so she wouldn’t give him a blowjob, which means there won’t be any lubrication, and the friction could lead to him burning his dick.

2.Paplu’s famous claim of a hidden 207th bone in the human body is legendary. According to him, this hidden bone shows up when a man gets excited and erect.

3. Paplu found a bad print of Kabul Express and came up with an explanation for that as well. He said that KANK was shot in the New York and London and the technology used there is pseudo, and hence KANK had a very good print, whereas, Kabul Express was shot in Afghanistan which is backward in terms of technology and so the print was not as good.

4. During his Saarang Antakshari days, he was asked to sing a song beginning with the Hindi letter “Ta”. When he couldn’t remember any song, he said that there was no song that begins with a “Ta”, his reason being that there is no song that ends with the same letter, and so in Antakshari there would be no need of such a song.

He hired two junior females as his vols, who came only to take coupons from him. He did all the work hoping for a future success with them. His angels blocked him from their GTalk and still ignore him whenever they pass by him. Another incident was when his friends participating were constantly irritating him with a question, when he abused them on the microphone. The whole of CLT echoed with a cry of his abuses. During the audio-video round, Paplu connected his comp to the projector and what popped was a pic of a nude chick as a wallpaper.

Paplu is a total physcho. He has hit Punchar with a steel scale, Anshul with a bat and Homework with… basically, stay alert when you’re around him.
His escapades with chicks have also been the talk of the town for long.

1. Mona – He saw her in 11th standard. IT was love at first sight. Paplu ne pyaar ke sureele sapne sanjoye. He sat behind her in class throughout the two years of schooling left. When Paplu got through JEE, she congratulated and that is when he first talked with her. He chatted with her for one whole year and then one fine day he was ragging a freshie and relishing the story of his sexual experience. It turns out that freshie’s girl was Mona. Still, he is dedicated towards spending his life with her. She has changed 2 boyfriends ever since, but Paplu still hold in his mind “Mera number aayega!” He did not get anything for his friends from his Ireland internship, but got Mona 10 pounds worth of chocolates and many other gifts. His current status with Mona is doubtful, with the last update dating to two months back.
Here, I have to mention his fundaes to his friends. He used to chat with n girls. One of the girls had complimented him on his display pic. Paplu told his friends that to get chicks, they should use pics like his. He changed his Orkut, Yahoo messenger, GTalk display pic for 3 years now. Anyway, he claimed to get at least 5 friend requests from girls every month. When his friends went into the depth of the matter, they found out that they were all school girls, and half of the profiles were fake.

2. He met Sona arbitly on Yahoo Messenger. He chatted with her for one and a half years, and phoned her often. Paplu ke dil mein prem ke meethe sapney ghar kar gaye. Even though he has never seen her, he still spends 1000 bucks every month on his phone bills talking to her. He called her 2 minutes before leaving for Ireland, and even put ISD calls to her from Ireland.

3. Then came, in his life, Charanya. Paplu ka dil kabootar ki tarah phir se phurrr ho gaya. He met Charanya through Orkut after reading the following: Female, 18, Mumbai, SINGLE. He chatted with her for n days and planned to meet her during Mood I. She refused. Through a common friend he heard that an insti guy is her friend. He told Paplu that he has game bajaooed her, and ever since Paplu has resisted his will to chat with her.

4. Then Paplu set his eyes on Aarti, who was a proper exported maal. He saw her and made her his sapnon ki mallika. He has only spoken three words to her and now they’re not the conventional ones. He asked her “How was (the) match?” He always thought “yahi mere life mein aayegi.” Par afsos, dil ke armaan aansuon mein beh gaye!

5. Along came Sneha, whom he met in a train. It was love at first sight yet again. For a change, sanjoye hue sapney sachchaayi mein parivartit ho gaye. Paplu was to travel with her in a local train in Mumbai. She suggested they should get into the ladies’ compartment, to which Paplu said, “No! This is violence of law!”Just to get to travel with her again, after he got to know her during Saarang, he asked her when she’d want to leave. He booked both their tickets for May in January. He was showing her the beautiful IITM campus when he pointed to a hostel and said that it was Brahmaputra hostel. She read the signboard and it read Cauvery hostel. Paplu went to the movies with her where the Delhi 6 trailer was being shown. In the scene where people are offering Namaaz at Jama Masjid, he told her it was Red Fort. She said it was Jama Masjid. Paplu reasoned that he was confused because of the red bricks. She asked why people would go to the Red Fort to offer Namaaz. He replied “Independence day hoga.”

Paplu went to Ireland with a few of his friends for his internship and what happened there cannot be born without laughter.

1. The first day was spent roaming around the university campus. Paplu saw many ‘TO LET’ signs. He said “Yeh Angrez kitne bade chutiye hain, ek to itne saare toilets khol rakhe hain aur inhe to English bhi nahi aati!”

2. The pubs there usually had automatic sensor glass doors. Incidentally, Paplu went to one which had a simple non-sensor door. Paplu started waving his hand around the door. When asked he replied “sensor kharaab ho gaya hai”

3. He met a girl there and went to her place for her birthday party. He bought a 15 pound gift for her. He had the chance to make out with her, but on seeing free booze slipped into the drinking squad. He puked at her place, crashed on her bed for 2-3 hours, woke up, ate, danced and came back.

4. He brushed before going to a pub. He still believed that bad breath could result in him not getting a blowjob.

5. He went to a strip club where the stripper asked for 20 pounds for a lap dance even though the prescribed rate was 10 pounds. Instead of complaining, he said “Stripper ki bhi izzat hoti hai; main negotiate nahi karoonga!” He spent 80 pounds there and then borrowed from others for another lap dance.

6. On his last day in Ireland, he boozed madly and puked on his own bed.
When it comes to free booze, he drinks like a dog. He talks about his own capacity, and then pukes on his own self and crashes in his puke.

The list of places where he has boozed and puked include:
1. His own bed
2. Jaanwar’s bed
3. Ireland’s room bed
4. Ireland chick’s bed
5. Godav terrace to name a few.

His pronounciations are another feature of his which entertains people:
1. Elo for Hello
2. Cuisine for cousin
When he was asked what his favourite cuisine was, he replied “Suresh”
3. Sory for sorry
4. Ollite for alright

He tried his hand at blogging with his blog rightly named as “Flower Of English Grammar” He is known to massage his own body with Nivea cream, which is perfect for his sensitive body. He mailed 3-4 times to an intern company HR in one single day requesting for an intern in Mumbai stating the reason that his girlfriend was in Mumbai.

One could very easily write books on Paplu’s bulbs and theories. We’re hoping that in the one year of his IIT life that remains, Paplu comes up with more entertaining stuff. We salute Paplu for his consistency in his bulbs and fuck-ups.


Tattu said...

Totally awesome! couldn't have missed a single word of it. Paplu you rock! :D

JUMPER said...

god only!!!

Pratik Gupta said...

yeah yeah...that's paplu!! [:)]