Saturday, April 25, 2009
We have a funky name for our group - 'SPARkS'. Actually this name is result of a extremely intensed fart session at the back bench of some Gen course. [:)] who says that IIT classrooms are not productive now.
S = Sajal Gothi
P = Pratik Gupta
A = Anshul Gupta
R = Rajai Jain
S = Sumedh Samant
So, the sparks for you!! Enjoy
PS : I love you guys! SPARkS is always gonna rule!!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Farewell time is near for all of us, final Years. IIT Madras has a great tradition to bid adieu to all the final years.
We have Hostel Nights where every hostel host a theme party and dinner, booze, RG , Video, toast and roast are the different phases of the party. Lemme give you a brief intro of all the terms.
Dinner/Booze – I think they are self explanatory but mind it, booze here refers not about drinking but dripping in it.
RG- the full form is Royal Gang bang.This a black book of a student. It’s a tradition where all the friends of a person come and sit together and describe all his dark tales which is later documented and displayed.
Video- a hostel video is also prepared where the unique habit of the person is shot and later played.
Toast – all the hostel and friend come and toast for the individual passing out people.
Roast – Final year students gave a roast to juniors by telling the inside stories of their life
So in the following 5 posts I am adding RG of all my closest friends in a way to giv them tribute from my side. About my RG, well I am not posting it. The reason, it’s a long story.
Its started 4 years ago when the internet was introduced in the royal state of rajasthan. I came to IIT at that time and got addicted to the internet. I returned back with this contagious disease and spread it all over my family. 2 years later there were shining new modem with BSNL internet connection in all my relatives’ homes. It was not over. I added them on my gtalk list and adding to it I started posting my blog links as my status message. Later it turned out, they all got through my initial uncensored posts and I really had a hard time convincing them that it was not real me.
So in short, if I post my RG over here, I am sure I will be abandoned from my family forever. So to avoid that risk, I am keeping my things to myself. If you are still interested in reading it, give me a buzz or leave
Till then enjoy the other RGs
PS: paplu’s RG is must read !!
His love story in IIT began with him bagging a hot Motorola Girl during Saarang in his first year! This love story unfortunately had a premature ending when she committed treason by trying to lock her lips with lips belonging to the royal family in a movie theatre.
In his third semester he had a fight with a girl ,whom for the sake of discretion we shall call KG. They were discussing the layout of a house. She wanted a big bath tub while he wanted a hot water jet installed in the toilet for cleaning purposes. Royal treatment indeed!!
In the 4th semester IP used to keep going to Hyderabad to visit his sick grandmother. People started doubting this because the Prince of the Royal family does not go to meet sick people. Sick people come to him. After one entire semester Achar and the others found out that he was dating a girl named Sneha.
To support this relation ship IP started looking for jobs . 'Work from home jobs with a salary of 2-3k'
This epic love story overcame all odds and was a match made in heaven. Actually no. It ended with Sneha calling Jaanwar and saying “Ashutosh please give the phone to Sajal and ask him to speak to me. I have a bottle of poison in my hand”. This story obviously did not end there. She came to Chennai to make things right with IP. IP being the gentleman he is went to meet her at her hotel. While they were talking in her room, the bathroom door opened and some arbit guy walked out. IP asked her who this guy is to which her reply was “ some guy I met in the train.”
This Prince rules Itarsi with an iron fist. His entire village calls him “Chotein Maalik” and he forces the women/girls of the area to give him and his dogs exotic massages. His dogs are worth more than the entire Nu Sigma Pay package. With full dedication to his dogs he searches around his area for people owning hot bitches. According to him the toughest job in the world is to get a dog and a bitch to mate.
This brings us to the point on him being a lesbo freak. 11GB of pure lesbian porn is no laughing matter and IP's continued dedication to this cause has brought about a new interest in things like internet download speeds etc. A minimum of 1MBps is a must and anything above that is in his words “ a super duper turn on”. He's strictly against heterosexual porn and along with Achar has formed a Lesbian Rights Organisation.
IP hates walking. Even when going to get Achar's Pulsar from Taramani he takes a cycle with him.He has failed whenever he has cheated in an exam. He uses advanced technology like bluetooth and wifi on his cell phone to copy. He has every grade on his gradecard( X,Y,I,W,U,E-S)!!!!!
Also known as Rapchandus to many, Paplu has so many fuck-ups in his life that a page falls short for his character molestation. Events such as him colliding with Milinda and falling on the court, stating in front of an intern interviewer that the density of a brick was 800 and then realizing that the density of water was 1000 and his roommates leaving the room all upto him, are, to be frank, praising Paplu. He’s done so much in the four years here that Paplu history is beyond words. But, let’s start from the very beginning.
Paplu underwent his complete education at S. V. Joshi Marathi Madhyamik School. He is from the famous posh are of Mumbai, Dombivalli. Yet, his modest self claims to be from Navi Mumbai to cover it up. Paplu tried shagging very late in life, but very early for his if you go by his knowledge of his own sexuality. He could not ejaculate and thought that he was impotent. On being persuaded repeatedly, he shagged once, and then again and then ever so often. His whole wing knows that he shags naked. His mates had filled the hole for the latch of his window with M seal and one fine day, Paplu forgot his ritual of tying a rope on his window. His whole wing saw him shagging naked. When Ronak claimed to have seen his dick, Paplu claimed “Nahi, maine haath se chhupa liya tha.” In his first year, Paplu used to put pseud as if he had n girlfriends. Paplu is recognized as the inventor of gaalis such as Bhosadpappu, Bhosadbomb, Madarbomb, Land halwa and the famous teri maa ki chut mein baingan ka bharta.
His first big bulb in the insti was when he was sleeping in the ID class. His then hostel warden DJ came to wake him up. He looked at Dj and crashed again. This time, DJ made sure Paplu would wake up. Paplu woke up and said –“sir, sir…just came”.
DJ –“what you just came in class”.
Paplu-“no, no sir…sleep just came”
DJ give up…later DJ was found telling everyone this incident pointing finger towards our dear Paplu.
For a question in the ID paper that asked “you” to lift a mass up from the ground to a certain height, he drew a stick figure and wrote “you” next to it. The he thought that since “you” was him, he should write “me” and so he did and he struck off the “you”. Then again it struck him that the prof was the one who would examine the question, so his perspective matters more. He then struck off the “me” and wrote “you” again.
When Paplu returned from the summer holidays, a cute squirrel family had built a nest outside his window. On the adjacent wall, Chittad had scribbled something to piss Paplu off. Paplu, instead of being pissed , looked rather surprised and said " Fuck, squirrels ne do mahine mein likhna bhi seekh liya kya?"
The wing were just through with their quizzes and went to the beach to blow off some steam. While sitting by the sea, puffing away to glory, Paplu ke dimaag ki batti jal gayi!
He pointed to one of the bright lights far away and said "Abey woh dekh , srilanka!!!!"
In the first year, a Godav Alumnus had contributed money to set up water dispensers in each wing. Chittad asked him what water dispensers were for. Quick came his reply "They are portable toilets" Chittad bulbed. Paplu justified "Water dispenser means where you dispense water. So it is a portable toilet where we can dispense our urine. Since the rooms right in the middle are so far away from the toilet that they have decided put a dispenser right in the middle of the wing"
Paplu’s fundaes are known to people who don’t even know Paplu. Here are a few:
1.Paplu is obsessed with brushing in the night, his funda for the same being that with a smelling mouth a girl won’t allow him to lick her pussy, and so she wouldn’t give him a blowjob, which means there won’t be any lubrication, and the friction could lead to him burning his dick.
2.Paplu’s famous claim of a hidden 207th bone in the human body is legendary. According to him, this hidden bone shows up when a man gets excited and erect.
3. Paplu found a bad print of Kabul Express and came up with an explanation for that as well. He said that KANK was shot in the New York and London and the technology used there is pseudo, and hence KANK had a very good print, whereas, Kabul Express was shot in Afghanistan which is backward in terms of technology and so the print was not as good.
4. During his Saarang Antakshari days, he was asked to sing a song beginning with the Hindi letter “Ta”. When he couldn’t remember any song, he said that there was no song that begins with a “Ta”, his reason being that there is no song that ends with the same letter, and so in Antakshari there would be no need of such a song.
He hired two junior females as his vols, who came only to take coupons from him. He did all the work hoping for a future success with them. His angels blocked him from their GTalk and still ignore him whenever they pass by him. Another incident was when his friends participating were constantly irritating him with a question, when he abused them on the microphone. The whole of CLT echoed with a cry of his abuses. During the audio-video round, Paplu connected his comp to the projector and what popped was a pic of a nude chick as a wallpaper.
Paplu is a total physcho. He has hit Punchar with a steel scale, Anshul with a bat and Homework with… basically, stay alert when you’re around him.
His escapades with chicks have also been the talk of the town for long.
1. Mona – He saw her in 11th standard. IT was love at first sight. Paplu ne pyaar ke sureele sapne sanjoye. He sat behind her in class throughout the two years of schooling left. When Paplu got through JEE, she congratulated and that is when he first talked with her. He chatted with her for one whole year and then one fine day he was ragging a freshie and relishing the story of his sexual experience. It turns out that freshie’s girl was Mona. Still, he is dedicated towards spending his life with her. She has changed 2 boyfriends ever since, but Paplu still hold in his mind “Mera number aayega!” He did not get anything for his friends from his Ireland internship, but got Mona 10 pounds worth of chocolates and many other gifts. His current status with Mona is doubtful, with the last update dating to two months back.
Here, I have to mention his fundaes to his friends. He used to chat with n girls. One of the girls had complimented him on his display pic. Paplu told his friends that to get chicks, they should use pics like his. He changed his Orkut, Yahoo messenger, GTalk display pic for 3 years now. Anyway, he claimed to get at least 5 friend requests from girls every month. When his friends went into the depth of the matter, they found out that they were all school girls, and half of the profiles were fake.
2. He met Sona arbitly on Yahoo Messenger. He chatted with her for one and a half years, and phoned her often. Paplu ke dil mein prem ke meethe sapney ghar kar gaye. Even though he has never seen her, he still spends 1000 bucks every month on his phone bills talking to her. He called her 2 minutes before leaving for Ireland, and even put ISD calls to her from Ireland.
3. Then came, in his life, Charanya. Paplu ka dil kabootar ki tarah phir se phurrr ho gaya. He met Charanya through Orkut after reading the following: Female, 18, Mumbai, SINGLE. He chatted with her for n days and planned to meet her during Mood I. She refused. Through a common friend he heard that an insti guy is her friend. He told Paplu that he has game bajaooed her, and ever since Paplu has resisted his will to chat with her.
4. Then Paplu set his eyes on Aarti, who was a proper exported maal. He saw her and made her his sapnon ki mallika. He has only spoken three words to her and now they’re not the conventional ones. He asked her “How was (the) match?” He always thought “yahi mere life mein aayegi.” Par afsos, dil ke armaan aansuon mein beh gaye!
5. Along came Sneha, whom he met in a train. It was love at first sight yet again. For a change, sanjoye hue sapney sachchaayi mein parivartit ho gaye. Paplu was to travel with her in a local train in Mumbai. She suggested they should get into the ladies’ compartment, to which Paplu said, “No! This is violence of law!”Just to get to travel with her again, after he got to know her during Saarang, he asked her when she’d want to leave. He booked both their tickets for May in January. He was showing her the beautiful IITM campus when he pointed to a hostel and said that it was Brahmaputra hostel. She read the signboard and it read Cauvery hostel. Paplu went to the movies with her where the Delhi 6 trailer was being shown. In the scene where people are offering Namaaz at Jama Masjid, he told her it was Red Fort. She said it was Jama Masjid. Paplu reasoned that he was confused because of the red bricks. She asked why people would go to the Red Fort to offer Namaaz. He replied “Independence day hoga.”
Paplu went to Ireland with a few of his friends for his internship and what happened there cannot be born without laughter.
1. The first day was spent roaming around the university campus. Paplu saw many ‘TO LET’ signs. He said “Yeh Angrez kitne bade chutiye hain, ek to itne saare toilets khol rakhe hain aur inhe to English bhi nahi aati!”
2. The pubs there usually had automatic sensor glass doors. Incidentally, Paplu went to one which had a simple non-sensor door. Paplu started waving his hand around the door. When asked he replied “sensor kharaab ho gaya hai”
3. He met a girl there and went to her place for her birthday party. He bought a 15 pound gift for her. He had the chance to make out with her, but on seeing free booze slipped into the drinking squad. He puked at her place, crashed on her bed for 2-3 hours, woke up, ate, danced and came back.
4. He brushed before going to a pub. He still believed that bad breath could result in him not getting a blowjob.
5. He went to a strip club where the stripper asked for 20 pounds for a lap dance even though the prescribed rate was 10 pounds. Instead of complaining, he said “Stripper ki bhi izzat hoti hai; main negotiate nahi karoonga!” He spent 80 pounds there and then borrowed from others for another lap dance.
6. On his last day in Ireland, he boozed madly and puked on his own bed.
When it comes to free booze, he drinks like a dog. He talks about his own capacity, and then pukes on his own self and crashes in his puke.
The list of places where he has boozed and puked include:
1. His own bed
2. Jaanwar’s bed
3. Ireland’s room bed
4. Ireland chick’s bed
5. Godav terrace to name a few.
His pronounciations are another feature of his which entertains people:
1. Elo for Hello
2. Cuisine for cousin
When he was asked what his favourite cuisine was, he replied “Suresh”
3. Sory for sorry
4. Ollite for alright
He tried his hand at blogging with his blog rightly named as “Flower Of English Grammar” He is known to massage his own body with Nivea cream, which is perfect for his sensitive body. He mailed 3-4 times to an intern company HR in one single day requesting for an intern in Mumbai stating the reason that his girlfriend was in Mumbai.
One could very easily write books on Paplu’s bulbs and theories. We’re hoping that in the one year of his IIT life that remains, Paplu comes up with more entertaining stuff. We salute Paplu for his consistency in his bulbs and fuck-ups.
The most dumbest, desperate creature you will find. His favourite hunting grounds are the Institute campus, Gtalk and Orkut friend List (not his own list but his friend’s list) and the obvious saarang. Despite of all his pain staking efforts of creating a goody boy image he is going out after being yelled by Insti gals (S.S.) and also with the most respected prof of the Department.
His experiences with girls are often entertaining for everyone but himself. While roaming around in campus during saarang "Abe kya machak maal hai,bas aisi mil jaaye life mein".
Finally this saarang after encouraging him too much, he talked to a girl (Obviously directly he can’t ask for dance workshop, again his IMAGE would have ruined, so he asked for queen of sheeba). She asked him what is Queen of sheeba. Our confident boy explained everything about TREASURE Hunt.
But our boy took her number. Later at 10pm or something, he started messaging her (he did when we encouraged him)
Anshul: Hey hi....are you free now? Are you interested in coming to ccd
Girl: I am sorry, but who is this? (Anshul fucker dint give her his own number and messaging as if that girl is having his number for past 15 years)
Anshul: I am anshul, met you today near stalls...blah blah blah
Girl: Ya remember, hey I am with my friends so not possible (Girl understood that this guy is a gr8 chut)
Anshul: (Despomax reply) With boys or girls? :)
Girl: :) :) Why interested in that?
Anshul: (Phatti) Anyways we will meet tomorrow then for queen of sheeba.
Morning 10 am (Anshul's Inbox)
Girl: Hey i am not feeling well, cant come for that. cya (later that girl was found wid some other boy, completely well and enjoying saarang)
His childhood sweetheart, with whom he shared the dream of ‘Virgin couples’ since 8 years got shattered after the gal stop responding to his calls and scraps, messages etc etc. he still wonders about the reason.
Another incident involved a flirtatious 2nd year BT girl who always thought he was a freshie. For some reason, once she asked him if he actually was a freshie and he responded, “No, no I’m in civil”. Though she continued to make obvious advances, he pretended nothing was happening. She approached him in Tiffany’s one day and asked him about his future plans. He got thoroughly psyched and tore out as fast as he could.
There was another female with whom he was an ambience vol in 1st year. He put a lot of fight but pretended to not care about her. In 2nd year, he invited her to the hostel night but in return he got kicked when ther was no return invitation. Finally in the 4th year, he gathered the courage to ask her what had happened over coffee in CCD. She agreed to meet him on the coming Sunday at 10pm. A day of anxious waiting later, she cancelled the meeting, while all through the time, our boy was boasting and dreaming about the meeting.
His level of desperateness can be seen by the incident when his intern mates fooled him by an fake profile and he finally end up putting treat after ‘pataoing’ the supposed girl, Anjali Sharma.
For a guy with as many (incomplete) encounters with the female kind, he was in high demand by seniors from this hostel many of whom wanted to have gay sex with him. During his first year, he was caught watching porn by his dad, let fly some gaalis to his parents by mistake and was caught in his sister’s place with a porn mms.
Once, he was late to an OR class, putting sutta, when he learnt that there was a surprise quiz. Confidently walked in 10 minutes late only to realise the test was over and most junta had already left.
He is the owner of a very interesting resume. Points ranging from ‘I have taken part in some quizzes in school and won many of them’ to ‘Part of the school cricket team, fielded in many positions’ litter his resume.
Our Guy is extremely well in PR skills. He used to be the ‘Local Mohalla Boy’ who used to bring grocery, give lifts, repairing machines etc of all the aunties in neighbourhood. As a return of his loyal service, his halves of the female friends in okut are his bhabhis and aunties.
He has the world's studdest supercomputer: 128MB, 40GB RAM, P3 with Windows 98 along with a ball mouse. He has been refusing to upgrade it for the last 3 years and we expect him to take it along with to Scope (his future company) with a black-and-white monitor.
That brings us to what he is going to do now. He has always claimed that Scope is the ch*tmax company. Finally after getting into it, he put a lavish treat. About Scope, he found out that 3 IIT Delhi girls are also joining Scope. Desperate that he is, he pained hazzar junta to get information about them. It turned out that they were ugly by a compassionate man’s standards.
Recently due to the effect of watching ghajini 3 times a day he started going to gym and he has recently turned into mini ghajini himself. He forget things, always remains a little aggressive in approach so beware of him nowadays
Tagged the dumbest BP 1 in IITM’s history due to lack of any interest in his branch, Anshul is also considered a stud in how he puts a 9 every semester without mugging
Famous lines by the mofo.
"abeyy yaaaar..math kar yaar vaise"
"bahuth batmeez hai be thu..."
"abeyy kutte ke pillee.."
"abey mat le yaaar.."
"abey ladki pat gayee yaar..."
Rajat Jain a.k.a Home Work
This soorma bhopali is an avid reader, Desi Papa Sex Stories and Savita Bhabhi being his all time favourite. The literature has helped him develop his scintillating fantasies. He has shagged multiple times imagining his wife wearing a dress which could be undressed with a slip of a knot. His wedding gift to his wife would be a trunk full of seductive lingerie which she will clad for him a dozen times a day.
Mr. H.W. has a gifted ability of scanning through a woman’s body and deciphering about the presence or absence of innerwears, has hoaned his skills through regular practice in the pool during water polo schroeter.
“Behen to kamaal par Ma bhi bemisaal” – for the sister and mother of Ms.S.S from
“Behen C#@D Papa” and “Meri Ma Ki C#@@+” – as a token for love and affection for his dear parents.
He is a give-up god who finds excuses for everything, except the never ending desperation for babes.
He was first fancied by Namita, his schoolmate, whom he describes as someone whose handshake was more intense than a quarter of Vodka. He ended up wishing her Happy Independence Day and she made him independent.
Next he started hitting on his physics teacher Deepa Verma, imagining himself as SRK and her as Sush in Main Hoon Na (or the little boy in Malena), soon the dreams were shattered since the teacher got married and went to
As expected, Our man didn’t give-up and got an intern in
Jain sahab has long term plans with a girl named Prachi “Jain” (mandatory for a girl to get the trunk mentioned above). He met her first when her family came to stay at their home during a marriage and he got infatuated.
He got to spend some quality time with her during his stay at IIT-D for his 2nd year intern, where he used to fool out his friends to meet her. (None of his friends have got a chance to touch, meet or even see the girl). She was the only one whom he got a gift from U.K (bought sandals for her) in exchange of some fundaes on transparent strap and strapless bras.
He was BP1 in his first sem and has never seen 8.0 since then. Has cupped twice in GATE with a record percentile of 47%, after stating that “gate to chill hai be, sabka clear ho jata hai”.
Riding on his luck he, won the hostel GenSec elections even after being at home during pre-election manipulations. Put infinite fight from home and ensured that the other northy candidate did not contest. He claims to be the first northy GenSec of the hostel ever, which he thinks is his biggest achievement.
This guy is an orkut freak and has pained everone to become his fan and write testis for him. Has a hobby of uploading photos and adoring them himself for hours.
Has a weird taste for bollywood movies and is the biggest fan of Altaf Raja songs (tum to tehre pardesi)
He is the hostel water polo captain for last two years, and freshies coming to his room and asking him to put fight and come for practice is a common site. Loves cricket and is a storehouse of statistics for every damn match that happened on earth. Has been putting night outs and bunking classes to watch the current test series, although goes and crashes in the common room.
Tried hard to get a girl for the dance workshop in Saarang and almost succeeded this year, when a girl from DPS gave him her number and agreed to accompany him the next day. He pained her by calling at night and the next day she was found dancing with a freshie.
During his intern in U.K. he tried every possible thing to get laid, treated a Swedish babe with beer while watching footer matches, encroached the under skirt area of a girl while dancing in a pub and luckily escaped the bouncers and even tried to use the cell phone camera in the gentlemen’s club to shoot the strippers.
After returning from the intern his IQ level went up to an all time high and is now often seen putting fundaes to junta about
Rajat is a darling of his friends , who listens to eveyone’s shit and make him feel important. Leaves ever lasting impressions on everyone’s mind and becomes an inseparable part of their life.
To this immature and untalented Bhopali we TOAST!!!