Chennai Chettinad Chapter 2: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

I came to Chennai on August 2nd, 2005. My orientation was supposed to be on August 4th but my parents wanted to visit the ‘Green’ IIT Madras campus so we landed up early. A little bit of background. My two cousin brothers who were the pass outs of IIT Madras were the living remains which tells the horrifying story of the food served in the Mess at IIT Madras. I was very determined that I am going to prove them wrong. I am going to accept, adapt and evolve. My first lunch at IIT Madras mess - I took Rasam in the bowl. Trust me it was a daring step if you had seen the look of that thing. I soon realized that it was a deadly step too. I couldn’t get it down. That was my first and the last try at having Rasam.

And that’s how it all started – the great Chennai chapter of my life which is coming to an end on July 23, 2010. Almost 5 years. Like all other place this place also has its worst and its best.

Lets talk about worst first because bitching is always more fun…
1.Autowallah: There was never a time when I asked an autowallah to go somewhere and he didn’t reply with a figure as large as the Avogadro number. You ask them to go anywhere and they will say 200. It’s the only figure I guess they know. The trick is to never approach the autos standing in a group, know the approximate fare beforehand and tell them if they will go in that or cut short whatever they say to one fourth. But still they would be a pain in the ass.

2 Language: The people here don’t understand Hindi. I understand, it happens. But the most bizarre thing is that for one moment they will be talking in Hindi and as soon as the conversation starts going against their way, they forget every single word they ever knew about Hindi.

3.Metro: Chennai aint a metro. If this is a metro then Bhopal is also a metro. And Indore is a super metro. Chennai is like DD Metro. Metro in the name but nothing inside it. For a long long time it was the city with two malls out of which one is Spencer Plaza which is less of a mall and
more of Palika Bazar. With three multiplexes, McDonalds starting their first outlet in 2008 and city shutting down at 9.00PM. Chennai aint metro.It’s the largest village of the country.

4.Culture: I have never been able to come to terms with the claim of it being a ‘Traditional City’. Almost all the people try to moral police on the grounds of their self proclaimed affection towards the Indian Culture. I have always believed that culture is anything which a group of people follow. However, just because you haven’t experienced, that culture does not become objectionable. Especially when 80% of the Indian porn is supplied from down south, you have no right to object. (More on this in some other post.)

I can go on for so many things like rudeness of female passengers in the bus because sitting beside a guy will destroy their sanity or closing the bar at 11 when it’s the time you actually start. But like every city Chennai has the other side of the coin too.

The greatest thing that this city offers is peace. If you are living somewhere near the sea, you can hear the sounds of gushing waves sitting on your rooftop in the calm silent night. It is at that moment when everything wrong about this city looks worth living. There is nothing compared to driving on the ECR road, late in the night with the feel of air coming from the beach running at one side of the road. You just have to take any turn and sit on the one of the longest sea shore. As for me, all these rides have always been the contemplation rides for me. They have helped me in coming to terms with so many things.

Some quick ground rules for survival:
1. Don’t eat anything with the name Kurma.
2. Don’t hesitate to try Andhra mess. They look like shit but serve
one of the most amazing food.
3. Don’t ever pick a fight with an autowallah.
4. Don’t ever pay any money in advance to any autowallah.
5. Don’t panic when you get caught without helmet by the cops. The bribe
charges are very nominal 100-200 bucks.
6. Learn eating rice before coming here.
7. Also learn to eat without watching. It will definitely help.
8. Whenever in pain, go sit on the beach. Life will be good again.
9. Get ready to drink the most amazing beers in your life. Sweet, sour and bitter. Every flavor is available.
10.Don’t drink MGM vodka unless you are determined to die from food poisoning.

I always hated this city. I am very much sure that I will not return here. But I never thought some part of me would love somethings about this city. And it surely does.

WTF story of the day - 1

He’s got Ash, not the splash
- Abhi’s dive claim and reluctant champ’s version don’t tally:
http://www.telegraphindia.com/1100623/jsp/frontpage/story_12596302.jsp

Capitalism - Boon or Evil !!

Must read Article

http://ibnlive.in.com/news/bhopal-bp-and-the-conscience-of-capitalism/125094-7.html?from=tn

Fuck 'Rules'

We all are afraid of change. We all resist it. Reason is not that we fear the unknown, but we are afraid that the rules we have created around ourselves, by ourselves, will be broken. We all entangle ourselves by the rules, rules about making friend, rules about eating hours, rules about brands, rules about every god damn thing we do. But the real question is – do we need these rules?

Rules bring order in our chaosed life. Rules are good. They keep you on track. They keep you focused, increase your efficiency. Rules give you an illusion of ordered life. Rules makes you feel that everything is going according to a plan. And we all love things when they work according to the plan. Rules limit our view. They limit our idea of good things. There is this friend of mine. She told me that she has a rule of her life, she does not let anyone touch her hair. And the best moment in her relationship was when her boyfriend tied her hair. Now do you really believe that of all the smiles, tears and quite moments they shared, is Hair-tying-moment deserved to be the best? But then why this is special? It’s special because a rule was broken that time and it made that moment treasured.

Rules make our life so narrow. Rules are good but they stop you from changing. You shut yourself in your world of rules and you keep resisting change. Change is good. Change is inevitable. Change is nature’s way of tell you that that nothing lasts forever. So why do we have all these rules then?? In the end, the rules that we define, ends up defining ourselves.

I quote Tyler Durden – “I say never be complete. I say stop being perfect. I say let's evolve. Let the chips fall where they may.”

Trivia about Rajnikanth

Modest Facts about Rajnikanth:

1. The last digit of pi is Rajnikanth. He is the end of all things


2. Rajnikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajnikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.


3. Rajnikanth got his driver’s license at the age of 16 Seconds.


4. When Rajnikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajnikanth and Rajnikanth


5. Rajnikanth can build a snowman..... Out of rain


6. Bullets dodge Rajnikanth.


7. Rajnikanth’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajnikanth.


8. If you spell Rajnikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Rajnikanth? " It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."


9. Once a cobra bit Rajnikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.


10. Rajnikanth can hit two stones with one bird.


11. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajnikanth can get 100 percent of whatever he wants.


11. Rajnikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life¦ unless it gets in his way.


12. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajnikanth could use to hit you, including the room itself.


13. When you say "no one's perfect", Rajnikanth takes this as a personal insult.


14. With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajnikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit


15. Rajnikanth can make onions cry


16. You can reach him at: gmail@Rajnikanth.com

[Disclaimer: I take no credit for this post. All the trivia has been selected by Hrishikesh Ranjharkar, My ex Love. I still love you mayte!! ;) ]

IIT Chapter - The Closure

I went to IIT today for some work at the bank. It’s not been long since my last trip but this time I felt a lot different. While I was driving back from the bank, I realized that there are no more people I can go to meet unannounced. There are no more faces that always bring smiles to my face. There are no reasons for me to come back here except for the fucking bank loan. All my friends have cleared IIT. I have never been fond of the institute but today was the first time I missed IIT. First time in the last 5 years.

I do have some familiar faces – Ashu, Harshi, The chosen pun, Shamshan and few really great juniors but I don’t think I will ever enjoy that much being in institute again. Since life@insti is so different without the group. I look back at my five years and I realize how fast life goes. How we all change, we all grow up. I remember Sajal as the guy from a small village Itarsi, who now he is doing his masters from UK. I remember Paplu as the guy from the suburbs of Mumbai , he scored 99.2 percentile in Cat 2009. I remember Ravi as the guy who was looking for Hindi speaking guys in the hostel, he is roaming around the world on company’s funds. I remember Anshul as the ratto-fying guy who was always fucked by life. Well I guess he is still the same. And about me, I am learning.

These were the bunch of people who made me realized that life is not as complex as we think. It’s just about doing whatever you want to under the constraints of circumstances and responsibilities. They told me that nothing lasts forever so they taught me a principle to live it up, drink it down and laugh it out. And I followed whatever they say because whenever I fell, they were there to pick me up

Today I feel like the IIT chapter has come to end. A chapter full of so many emotions. A chapter in which life took a giant leap.

Review - Rajneeti

I watched Rajneeti last night. Prakash Jha has done it again. I would not waste time and space saying anything what others have already said or written about it. I just have three things to say about it:

· Fuck man, Shruti Seth was in the movie. Shruti Seth. You don’t know Shruti Seth? She was the girl who accused Arjun Rampal with rape charges. Oh Gosh!! She was so, so hot in that scene. I know that you know what I am talking about. I have seen her so many times the way she was there in the movie. Okay not so much of seen as imagined. Okay only imagined but the point is Prakash Jha has given what I wanted ever since my childhood.

· Mr Prakash Jha, we are not interested in the kiss scenes of that Maa wala character and the Foreigner. We wanted Katrina Kaif. We deserved this atleast after a 2hours 50 min movie. I understand you did your best under the given Salmanian circumstances but c’mon man, we all were waiting for it. If not her then atleast Shruti Seth. You let me down there Mister.

· It’s so amazes me why the fertility rate in Bollywood is 100%. I mean every time there is a sex, next scene you get the news of pregnancy. People try for months in real life and Naseeruddin Shah did it in one night. I mean at that age too. And what I really appreciate is Arjun Rampal’s performance, the way he performed with all the performance pressure. I mean impregnating someone on the first night is really something. Isn’t it?

Apart from this movie is worth watching. First half is amazing and quite a lot gripping but second half loose track in middle. Overall a must watch.

Bollywood Trivia

I have updated a series of status messages on FB and Gtalk and I thought its an good idea to compile their extended addition and post them on blog. So here it is.

Bollywood Trivia: Bollywood of 90’s was a representative of the country’s state at that time. India opened its economy and we as a nation were feeling confident and optimistic. Songs like ‘Tujhe Mirchi lagi to mein kya karoon’ denotes the changed Foreign Policy of India rubbing shoulders with all the superpowers of the world. Dialogues like – “Harkar Jeetne wale ko baazigar kehte” showed the optimism we had in our blood. It also showed the state of Indian Cricket. Such was the deepness of the 90’s Bollywood.

Bollywod Trivia: The bollywood of 90's was daring enough to flaunt the single status of the Indian youth. The songs like ' aa bhi jaa....kab se karein hain tera intezaar' and ' jab bhi koi ladki dekhoo mera dil deewana bole...ole ole ole' has been the landmark in the industry and legendary examples of the time when India was not hit by the MTV 'Dare to Date' wave. Hail Bollywood !!

Bollywood Trivia: Adding Jamalgota was a trivial revenge technique used for the villan's sidekick during the 80's and 90's in bollywood. While it created quite a funny situation, it also result a lot of difficulty for the Villain character. Andaz Apna Apna was the first film to use this technique on one of the main protagonist character. Hail AAA !

Bollywood Trivia: ‘Khiladi’ has the record of the longest ever Movie Series of Bollywood. With 7 films – “Khiladi, Main Khiladi Tu Anari, Sabse Bada Khiladi, Khiladiyon ka Khiladi, Mr. and Mrs Khiladi, International Khiladi and Khiladi 420”, Khiladi Series changed the bollywood forever. Undertaker, controversial Mud shot of Shri Shri 1008 Rekha ji and smooch of Mamta Kulkarni gave the first true International touch to Bollywood of 90’s. Songs like “jab tak rahega samose mein aloo, tera rahunga oh meri shalu” paved the way for the corny lyrics which has been a main character of Bollywood of 90’s. Hail Khiladi !!