I went to IIT today for some work at the bank. It’s not been long since my last trip but this time I felt a lot different. While I was driving back from the bank, I realized that there are no more people I can go to meet unannounced. There are no more faces that always bring smiles to my face. There are no reasons for me to come back here except for the fucking bank loan. All my friends have cleared IIT. I have never been fond of the institute but today was the first time I missed IIT. First time in the last 5 years.
I do have some familiar faces – Ashu, Harshi, The chosen pun, Shamshan and few really great juniors but I don’t think I will ever enjoy that much being in institute again. Since life@insti is so different without the group. I look back at my five years and I realize how fast life goes. How we all change, we all grow up. I remember Sajal as the guy from a small village Itarsi, who now he is doing his masters from UK. I remember Paplu as the guy from the suburbs of Mumbai , he scored 99.2 percentile in Cat 2009. I remember Ravi as the guy who was looking for Hindi speaking guys in the hostel, he is roaming around the world on company’s funds. I remember Anshul as the ratto-fying guy who was always fucked by life. Well I guess he is still the same. And about me, I am learning.
These were the bunch of people who made me realized that life is not as complex as we think. It’s just about doing whatever you want to under the constraints of circumstances and responsibilities. They told me that nothing lasts forever so they taught me a principle to live it up, drink it down and laugh it out. And I followed whatever they say because whenever I fell, they were there to pick me up
Today I feel like the IIT chapter has come to end. A chapter full of so many emotions. A chapter in which life took a giant leap.
I would like to thank Professor K. Rajagopal, Head of Department for providing the opportunity to work on this intriguing project. I would like to thank Prof. Rengaraju and Dr. P Alagusundaramoorthy for their constructive criticism during project evaluation, which helped me to make necessary improvements.
I am deeply indebted to the Research associates Mr. Vijay Ganesh, Mr Deepak Kumar and my Mtech senior V. Nagaraja whose constant guidance helped me completing my project.
Thanks are due to my friends who have made each day at IITM a new experience for me. I would specially like to thanks my group ‘Sparks’ I would like to thanks Sajal for being my benchmate and listening all my future ideas. I cannot forget Anshul without whom I would have never been able to complete by degree. I am, thankful to Sumedh for being my partner-in-crime throughout my IIT stay. I always cherished the company of Rajat.
I would also like to thank Ravi for teaching me lot about life and Career. I express my thanks to saurabh for saving my life. I cannot be what I am without Vipul and Konark who stand beside me in all my times. I am also thankful to Kartik, Satyan, Ashutosh Phani, Nitin, Ritesh, Kapil, Ankit for being a great company.
I owe my brother, Shailesh a lot who has been my role model and the reason why I am here. I also express my gratitude to Kshitiz for being an idol, friend, cousin and torch bearer in my life. I would also like to thank Deepanshu, Gopal, Mudit, Seemanshu for being a constant support through out my life.
Last but not the least; I would like to thank my family. The constant inspiration and guidance kept me focused and motivated. I am grateful to my dad for giving me the life I ever dreamed. I can’t express my gratitude for my mom in words, whose unconditional love has been my greatest strength. The constant love and support of my sister is sincerely acknowledged. I cannot forget my uncle, Piyush, the reason I chose civil as my engineering field.
Finally, my greatest regards to the Almighty for bestowing upon me the courage to face the complexities of life and complete this project successfully.
Meet the Casanova Prince from Itarsi. IP(Itarsi prime) was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and an ability to do anything he wanted. He used the former gift for lesbian porn and expensive dogs and the latter for hot girlfriends and more lesbian porn.
His love story in IIT began with him bagging a hot Motorola Girl during Saarang in his first year! This love story unfortunately had a premature ending when she committed treason by trying to lock her lips with lips belonging to the royal family in a movie theatre.
In his third semester he had a fight with a girl ,whom for the sake of discretion we shall call KG. They were discussing the layout of a house. She wanted a big bath tub while he wanted a hot water jet installed in the toilet for cleaning purposes. Royal treatment indeed!!
In the 4th semester IP used to keep going to Hyderabad to visit his sick grandmother. People started doubting this because the Prince of the Royal family does not go to meet sick people. Sick people come to him. After one entire semester Achar and the others found out that he was dating a girl named Sneha.
To support this relation ship IP started looking for jobs . 'Work from home jobs with a salary of 2-3k'
This epic love story overcame all odds and was a match made in heaven. Actually no. It ended with Sneha calling Jaanwar and saying “Ashutosh please give the phone to Sajal and ask him to speak to me. I have a bottle of poison in my hand”. This story obviously did not end there. She came to Chennai to make things right with IP. IP being the gentleman he is went to meet her at her hotel. While they were talking in her room, the bathroom door opened and some arbit guy walked out. IP asked her who this guy is to which her reply was “ some guy I met in the train.”
This Prince rules Itarsi with an iron fist. His entire village calls him “Chotein Maalik” and he forces the women/girls of the area to give him and his dogs exotic massages. His dogs are worth more than the entire Nu Sigma Pay package. With full dedication to his dogs he searches around his area for people owning hot bitches. According to him the toughest job in the world is to get a dog and a bitch to mate.
This brings us to the point on him being a lesbo freak. 11GB of pure lesbian porn is no laughing matter and IP's continued dedication to this cause has brought about a new interest in things like internet download speeds etc. A minimum of 1MBps is a must and anything above that is in his words “ a super duper turn on”. He's strictly against heterosexual porn and along with Achar has formed a Lesbian Rights Organisation.
IP hates walking. Even when going to get Achar's Pulsar from Taramani he takes a cycle with him.He has failed whenever he has cheated in an exam. He uses advanced technology like bluetooth and wifi on his cell phone to copy. He has every grade on his gradecard( X,Y,I,W,U,E-S)!!!!!
The most dumbest, desperate creature you will find. His favourite hunting grounds are the Institute campus, Gtalk and Orkut friend List (not his own list but his friend’s list) and the obvious saarang. Despite of all his pain staking efforts of creating a goody boy image he is going out after being yelled by Insti gals (S.S.) and also with the most respected prof of the Department.
His experiences with girls are often entertaining for everyone but himself. While roaming around in campus during saarang "Abe kya machak maal hai,bas aisi mil jaaye life mein".
Finally this saarang after encouraging him too much, he talked to a girl (Obviously directly he can’t ask for dance workshop, again his IMAGE would have ruined, so he asked for queen of sheeba). She asked him what is Queen of sheeba. Our confident boy explained everything about TREASURE Hunt.
But our boy took her number. Later at 10pm or something, he started messaging her (he did when we encouraged him)
Anshul: Hey hi....are you free now? Are you interested in coming to ccd
Girl: I am sorry, but who is this? (Anshul fucker dint give her his own number and messaging as if that girl is having his number for past 15 years)
Anshul: I am anshul, met you today near stalls...blah blah blah
Girl: Ya remember, hey I am with my friends so not possible (Girl understood that this guy is a gr8 chut)
Anshul: (Despomax reply) With boys or girls? :)
Girl: :) :) Why interested in that?
Anshul: (Phatti) Anyways we will meet tomorrow then for queen of sheeba.
Morning 10 am (Anshul's Inbox)
Girl: Hey i am not feeling well, cant come for that. cya (later that girl was found wid some other boy, completely well and enjoying saarang)
His childhood sweetheart, with whom he shared the dream of ‘Virgin couples’ since 8 years got shattered after the gal stop responding to his calls and scraps, messages etc etc. he still wonders about the reason.
Another incident involved a flirtatious 2nd year BT girl who always thought he was a freshie. For some reason, once she asked him if he actually was a freshie and he responded, “No, no I’m in civil”. Though she continued to make obvious advances, he pretended nothing was happening. She approached him in Tiffany’s one day and asked him about his future plans. He got thoroughly psyched and tore out as fast as he could.
There was another female with whom he was an ambience vol in 1styear. He put a lot of fight but pretended to not care about her. In 2ndyear, he invited her to the hostel night but in return he got kicked when ther was no return invitation. Finally in the 4thyear, he gathered the courage to ask her what had happened over coffee in CCD. She agreed to meet him on the coming Sunday at 10pm. A day of anxious waiting later, she cancelled the meeting, while all through the time, our boy was boasting and dreaming about the meeting.
His level of desperateness can be seen by the incident when his intern mates fooled him by an fake profile and he finally end up putting treat after ‘pataoing’ the supposed girl, Anjali Sharma.
For a guy with as many (incomplete) encounters with the female kind, he was in high demand by seniors from this hostel many of whom wanted to have gay sex with him. During his first year, he was caught watching porn by his dad, let fly some gaalis to his parents by mistake and was caught in his sister’s place with a porn mms.
Once, he was late to an OR class, putting sutta, when he learnt that there was a surprise quiz. Confidently walked in 10 minutes late only to realise the test was over and most junta had already left.
He is the owner of a very interesting resume. Points ranging from ‘I have taken part in some quizzes in school and won many of them’ to ‘Part of the school cricket team, fielded in many positions’ litter his resume.
Our Guy is extremely well inPR skills. He used to be the ‘Local Mohalla Boy’ who used to bring grocery, give lifts, repairing machines etc of all the aunties in neighbourhood. As a return of his loyal service, his halves of the female friends in okut are his bhabhis and aunties.
He has the world's studdest supercomputer: 128MB, 40GB RAM, P3 with Windows 98 along with a ball mouse. He has been refusing to upgrade it for the last 3 years and we expect him to take it along with to Scope (his future company) with a black-and-white monitor.
That brings us to what he is going to do now. He has always claimed that Scope is the ch*tmax company. Finally after getting into it, he put a lavish treat. About Scope, he found out that 3 IIT Delhi girls are also joining Scope. Desperate that he is, he pained hazzar junta to get information about them. It turned out that they were ugly by a compassionate man’s standards.
Recently due to the effect of watching ghajini 3 times a day he started going to gym and he has recently turned into mini ghajini himself. He forget things, always remains a little aggressive in approach so beware of him nowadays
Tagged the dumbest BP 1 in IITM’s history due to lack of any interest in his branch, Anshul is also considered a stud in how he puts a 9 every semester without mugging
Famous lines by the mofo.
"abeyy yaaaar..math kar yaar vaise"
"bahuth batmeez hai be thu..."
"abeyy kutte ke pillee.."
"abey mat le yaaar.."
"abey ladki pat gayee yaar..."
This soorma bhopali is an avid reader, Desi Papa Sex Stories and Savita Bhabhi being his all time favourite. The literature has helped him develop his scintillating fantasies. He has shagged multiple times imagining his wife wearing a dress which could be undressed with a slip of a knot. His wedding gift to his wife would be a trunk full of seductive lingerie which she will clad for him a dozen times a day.
Mr. H.W. has a gifted ability of scanning through a woman’s body and deciphering about the presence or absence of innerwears, has hoaned his skills through regular practice in the pool during water polo schroeter.
Quotable Quotes
“Behen to kamaal par Ma bhi bemisaal” –for the sister and mother of Ms.S.S from Bhopal during IIT-JEE counselling.
“Behen C#@D Papa” and “Meri Ma Ki C#@@+” – as a token for love and affection for his dear parents.
Girl Talk
He is a give-up god who finds excuses for everything, except the never ending desperation for babes.
He was first fancied by Namita, his schoolmate, whom he describes as someone whose handshake was more intense than a quarter of Vodka. He ended up wishing her Happy Independence Day and she made him independent.
Next he started hitting on his physics teacher Deepa Verma, imagining himself as SRK and her as Sush in Main Hoon Na (or the little boy in Malena), soon the dreams were shattered since the teacher got married and went to London with her husband.
As expected, Our man didn’t give-up and got an intern in U.K. He had high hopes to meet his long lost love in London but the plans didn’t materialise and in desperation he ended spending up £80 on strippers for 8 Lap Dances.
Jain sahab has long term plans with a girl named Prachi “Jain” (mandatory for a girl to get the trunk mentioned above). He met her first when her family came to stay at their home during a marriage and he got infatuated.
He got to spend some quality time with her during his stay at IIT-D for his 2nd year intern, where he used to fool out his friends to meet her. (None of his friends have got a chance to touch, meet or even see the girl). She was the only one whom he got a gift from U.K (bought sandals for her) in exchange of some fundaes on transparent strap and strapless bras.
IIT Life
He was BP1 in his first sem and has never seen 8.0 since then. Has cupped twice in GATE with a record percentile of 47%, after stating that “gate to chill hai be, sabka clear ho jata hai”.
Riding on his luck he, won the hostel GenSec elections even after being at home during pre-election manipulations. Put infinite fight from home and ensured that the other northy candidate did not contest. He claims to be the first northy GenSec of the hostel ever, which he thinks is his biggest achievement.
This guy is an orkut freak and has pained everone to become his fan and write testis for him. Has a hobby of uploading photos and adoring them himself for hours.
Has a weird taste for bollywood movies and is the biggest fan of Altaf Raja songs (tum to tehre pardesi)
He is the hostel water polo captain for last two years, and freshies coming to his room and asking him to put fight and come for practice is a common site. Loves cricket and is a storehouse of statistics for every damn match that happened on earth. Has been putting night outs and bunking classes to watch the current test series, although goes and crashes in the common room.
Tried hard to get a girl for the dance workshop in Saarang and almost succeeded this year, when a girl from DPS gave him her number and agreed to accompany him the next day. He pained her by calling at night and the next day she was found dancing with a freshie.
During his intern in U.K. he tried every possible thing to get laid, treated a Swedish babe with beer while watching footer matches, encroached the under skirt area of a girl while dancing in a pub and luckily escaped the bouncers and even tried to use the cell phone camera in the gentlemen’s club to shoot the strippers.
After returning from the intern his IQ level went up to an all time high and is now often seen putting fundaes to junta about London. Enlightened the warden about places to be visited and the best scotch available. Psyched MASH by blabbering irrelevant stuff about London Transportation and got enthusiastic about Ryan Airways in a DoMS department prof’s class.
Rajat is a darling of his friends , wholistens to eveyone’s shit and make him feel important. Leaves ever lasting impressions on everyone’s mind and becomes an inseparable part of their life.
To this immature and untalented Bhopali we TOAST!!!
It’s about Mr. D and Mr. V. it dates back to the year 1998 something. Mr. d saw Mr. V in school. It was the love at first sight. But as in all cases, both of them were reluctant to say its relationship.
They put the tag friendship on it. The things start flourishing between them. Both of them have nothing in common but as it goes love is blind. So it was. They decided the same career path. Both joined the same coaching institute Resonance.
They used to share everything. From books to notes, from vehicles sharing to knowledge sharing. They were inseparable. Now Mr V was my good friend in those times and that when I got the chance to see this beautiful relationship.
Both D and V has their share of differences but nothing came between them. V got selected in JEE in 2004 and came to IIT madras. The long distance was not able to do anything. But it made Mr. D more committed to clear JEE which he finally did in 2005 and guess what came to IIT madras.
Hostels were different, branches were different, years were different but as I say nothing can…..anyways I have seen them sitting in the sangam ground, in front of mess holding each other hand, at gurunath, sitting beneath the dark sky, looking into each other eyes, sharing the lives and thoughts together. Madras gave them the confidence to come openly about their ‘Friendship’.
I sincerely wish them happy life ever after. Here I toast to the most amazing ‘Friendship’ I have ever seen. [:)]
PS: V is Vivek Nigam. An alma Mater of IIt madras, narmada hostel, Chemical Branch, 2008 passout.
I was discussing and putting some fundaes to my friend about the places , where he can take his gf in institute. Then I realized I have explored this campus a little more and in a little better way then most of the people so I decided to share the knowledge with my fellow mates. So these are some of the places where you can take your female partner and enjoy some good time.
1.Stadium: the most obvious and the most popular place to hang out (but only with female friends). This is the most awesome place in night to sit and talk. You can see the clear sky and stars, a perfect atmosphere to discuss personal issues. The only pain is security guard make a round and they will hush you. So to avoid this try sitting in the grass in the other corner of stadium and avoid the stairs.
2.Playground Avenue: the road between the playground avenue and acad block is the prefect night walk road. Complete route: playground avenue road > BT department road > straight ahead > MDS road > aero department road > nandini > followed by hospital and workshop path > GC. This complete road is covered with trees and generally remain free from people. [:)]
3.GC to Main gate: this is also oe of the most popular night wak road though I never liked it. Its painful to go 2.8 km to and fro. It gets the hell out of you. So if you have stamina ,try this path.
4.Vanavani school: there is branch of vanavani just infront of it , it’s a kids school. Now this sound weird but believe me this is the best place to hang out in night. Reason: benches are there to sit, no security guard issue, complete freedom to make out. [:)] . The only risk is when you have to jump the locked gate but after you are done this is the best place.
5.KV ground: it’s a good place during the evening tilll 11 pm because after security guard start making rounds. This place has benches around trees but they don’t have back support so its quite tiresome to sit there and talk. But yeah a good lonely place far from people.
6.Library: this is the favourite place for first years but seniors can also give it a try. Level 3 has a special section with cubicles. It’s a good place during the hot sunny day. It’s less private but better than sitting at the back gate of sharav.
7.Cs department Scholars room: this is one of the most unexplored place. It’s a room with lots of chairs and table and the best thing is its open 24 hours , I mean the whole night. The way is : BSB > take life > go to 2nd floor > take a left turm > enter into CS department > take a right > go straight. You will find the place. Most of the time you will find the room locked but if you just hold one gate and push other it will open. And yeah remember to take some books with you while going there.
8.Workshop roof: this is a risky place to go but one of the best places I have ever seen. There is ladder going to roof which you will find when you towards nandini from the road going straight from BSB. Just look for security guard and once you are above, it’s a nice thrilling experience.
9.BT department roof: I haven explored this place but I have heard its also awesome sitting on 7th floor roof top. Try it on your own risk.
10.the road behind aero department : this is the most horrific , most thrilling road. Lots of security breaches will lead you there but once you are there , you will experience the most thrilling experience of your life. Recommended for the daring dates.
11.Benches : these are list of some of the benches in the Insti where you can sit and talk peacefully : sangam ground, between post office and Vanavani and in front of BT department.
Disclaimer : the person should go at its own risk. The writer is not inspiring you to explore but sharing his knowledge. The person will be solely responsible for his action by himself.
PS: there are tonnes of mosquitoes at these places so preferably take odomos with you [:)]
In final year everybody is talking about plan. My dad asked me “so aage kya socha hai – job ya MBA??” My cousin was asking “ab kya karma hai?” My senior advised me “now is the time to decide what you want to do?” Firstly I want to thanks all my relatives, friends, seniors that they think about me. From last few days I am having a extensive discussion with my friend about the ‘Plan’ thing. He has everything planned for his life. He will do job; give GMAT after 3 years and then IV league, finally a handsome/beautiful ‘jain’ guy/gal. That’s it. Everything planned and over.
So last night I decided that I will also ‘plan’ my life. I started thinking about what I really want. I had lots of thoughts coming up while thinking and finally I came up on conclusion. I don’t want to plan anything because my priority in life keeps on changing. What I wanted 4 years before was completely different and I am sure what I will desire 4 years down the line is going to be very different too. I am person with very unsettled mind. So I am not sure what I demand from life or career.
Secondly, I don’t want to plan anything. I have tried to plan everything in life for my first 20 years but now I want to let it go. I enjoy the uncertainty of life. I believe that the best thing which life offers. Your life changes at an instant and I have seen that happening to me a lot so I don’t want to miss that fun.
But luckily I have got some real good people around me who do the planning thing for me and I trust them so I am going to work according to them. But for sure I am not going to plan anything from now.
