2010 and the year ahead

Another year is passing by. With it, I once again realise that I’ve never felt anything special on a New Year’s eve. I guess the only purpose it serves for me is to make me look back upon what I have done during the past year and what more there is to do during the coming year. Even today, I am going to do exactly that.

Let me start with saying that 2010 will always be special because of Sachin. He scored a 200 in an ODI, the 50^th hundred in test cricket and many other feats which need an entirely separate blog post. 2010 will always be remembered for being the year when we once again saw the rise of the star, and oh, such a rise!

Apart from cricket, I started reading again. I read about 14-15 novels, watched three amazing TV series: Two and a half Men,Boston Legal and House, completed 70 per cent of the Clint Eastwood filmography and started listening to Pearl jam and Mike Oldfield.

On the career front, this year has been quite good and satisfying. I cleared CFA-I and FRM-I, switched jobs, changed my city.

On the front of life, however, this has been tremenndous year. Rather, a rockstar year, where I saw lot of ups and some downs.

I met Anuja and Parul – people from a very different background. It was like seeing life from a completely different perspective. These guys are responsible for shaping my blog the way it is now. Earlier, it used to be full of whimsy posts, but these people restricted me and guided me towards good writing. Anuja is one of the finest political reporter ever. She is committed and energetic, and I am very sure she will get whatever she wants in life. Parul is the most exceptional writer I have ever seen. Any post, no matter what the length, is mesmerizing. Her writing is filled with the pure, unadulterated scent of nature and joy. I am sure great things are just waiting to happen to her. I guess the time spent with them in Chennai will always be one of the best times I’ve ever had. And moreover, I saw the side of Delhi I would never have been able to see without these guys.

I shifted to Bangalore which, as I have already written tones of times, is a city full of friends. In the five months here, I have grown to understand why Delhi means so much to Parul and what Mumbai is for Paplu. I think I am falling in love with this city.

Konark and Chhavi are the people who make this city special. Konark and I were counting and we realized that we have been friends for 10 whole years now! I realise it now that he is the guy responsible for making me whatever I am. I was just a bloody nerd before I met him. And for Chhavi - I can’t say anything! She is one of the finest individuals I have ever met. I discover so much about life and myself while talking to her. Being with her amazes me, making me wonder how strong and hardworking a person can be.

I guess I was saving the best for the last – Ravi and Jadoo, the two guys with whom I share the flat. I can’t remember even a single dull moment in the last five months. It has been a rocking life with these guys around. Though sometimes I miss the Friday ritual which I used to share with Jadoo while we were in Chennai, but I guess here everyday is a Friday night.

I met Harshi on and off, and it was good being friends with her again and to find her doing amazingly well in life.

Apart from all the good things, there have been a couple of sad moments. I left Chennai, and now I regret why I never felt close to my old roommates, Pattrow and Abhishek. They are amazing people. Today, when I have left the place, I miss them. There are memories and very strong memories, which come again and again and make me wish I could relive that life again

The most painful day was the day Paplu left for Mumbai. A person who has been more than a friend, a family for me far from home for the last five years, the guy with whom I have shared my life and dreams, the partner in crime for all those years and even then five years seem like five minutes. No one can ever take the place of Paplu in my life, but I am happy he is doing what he always wanted to do. Bloody investment banker. Asshole.

Somehow the track with Anuja got lost. We don’t talk much. Our lives are different. I am not even sure if we are friends anymore. But it’s the choice we made. I don’t regret it but losing a friend is the toughest thing for me. Since the time I can remember, friends have been my family. I don’t know why, but I am indifferent to my real family. I feel ashamed of it, but I can’t feel the connection. So, in the end it’s just the friends I have.

This reminds me, this year I am going to try harder to reconnect with my family.

I will travel more.

I hate myself for being such a procrastinator that I haven’t devoted any time for charity. I am for sure I am going to do that this year.

In the beginning of the year I decided to write 73 posts during the year. And I am lagging way behind it. To be very true, I am not sure how much I am going to write this year. I am losing the attraction towards writing pretty fast.

In the end, I just can't thank my fellow blogmates, who have been a major support, enough... Your blogs and comments give me somuch to think. They give altogether a different perspective about everything around me. I mean there are literally no words.I hope you will understand the feeling.

I guess it's been a long ranting post. Let me end this with something on the line of the tagline used in advertisements for Hyundai Accent six years ago -- “I thank the holy god, I thank all my blogmates, I thank all my family, I thank all my friends – without whom I would have been just another guy spending just another year.”

Jingle Bells...

( Sorry, I am late in posting this)

Christmas was special when I was little. Then It lost its meaning for me. Now it has started getting its meaning again in my life. Prime reason being working in the US company or for US company, you get loads of free time when your counterparts goes on leave during Christmas. So at the end of the day its Holiday time for us – India Folks.

But talking to a friend last night reminded me why Christmas lost its meaning. I mean I used to be pretty excited about it till I was 8. The story is like this – I used to get gifts under by pillow on every Christmas. I used to be so much grateful to Santa. I mean I really used to believe that Santa exist. Then I started growing up and all sorts of evil plan started creeping into my mind. One Christmas I decided I am going to catch Santa. I knew that he used to come during midnight. I was all prepared for the night. Slept a lot in day so that I can stay up long in night. With the preparation and commitment, this 8 year old camped himself on the roof.

Now obviously the parents will be worried seeing their 8 year on roof in the December chill. They came up to convince me that Santa will come only when I will be asleep. I replied that other kids are asleep and he is going to deliver them the gift. I will catch him then. See how the age ruins you. Seeing all their arguments falling, finally my parents admitted that There is no Santa and they were the one who used to plant gifts under the bed.

This was the most shattering revelation of my life till that age. Off course life is full of such revelation now. Like “ you have always been a friend/brother for me”. Anyways so that was the end of my Christmas dreams. Viral next morning confirmed that for my lifetime.

But as I always believe everything in life happens twice. I have started feeling joyous about Christmas again. And above that in the secret Santa party in office I got ‘ Out of my comfort zone’ - the autobiography of Steve Waugh. It was THE most amazing gift I ever received on Christmas. I am happy.

On the same note I wish you a great, happy and cheerful Christmas.

Marketing Blunders

Just Saw this somewhere.....

1. Coors put its slogan, "Turn it loose," into Spanish where it was read as "Suffer from diarrhea."

2. Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: Nothing sucks like an Electrolux.

3. Clairol introduced the "Mist Stick", a curling iron, into German only to find out that "mist" is slang for manure. Not too many people had use for the "manure stick."

4. When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the beautiful Caucasian baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the label of what's inside, since most people can't read.

5. Colgate introduced a toothpaste in France called Cue, the name of a notorious porno magazine.

6. An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el papa), the shirts read "I saw the potato" (la papa).

7. Pepsi's "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" translated into "Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave", in Chinese.

8. Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "it takes a strong man to make a tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate."

9. The Coca-Cola name in China was first read as "Ke-kou-ke-la", meaning "Bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax", depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 characters to find a phonetic equivalent "ko-kou-ko-le", translating into "happiness in the mouth."

10. When Parker Pen marketed a ball-point pen in Mexico, its ads were supposed to have read, "it won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you." Instead, the company thought that the word "embarazar" (to impregnate) meant to embarrass, so the ad read: "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant."

The Week That Wasn't

Bangalore

You pack. You ride. You check in. Wait. Sit. Tuck the seat belt in. And then you take it out. The air hostess. The girl in the aisle seat. The fat uncle in the middle seat. Sandwich. Water. Once again the seat belt goes in. But only to be taken out. You check out and you are done with step one.

Delhi

You meet. You hug. You smoke. The good ol’ days. The bad new days. You crib. The pain. The gossip. Smiles. Laughter. Loud laughter. And the night passes by before you can even realize.

You sleep. You wake up. There are missed calls. There are plans. Lunch. Coffee. More coffee. The pub. You drink. You start laughing. You drink more. You get senti. You drink more. And more. You black out. You puke. You puke more until you crash. You wake up next morning with a few things missing. A bag, a wallet and perhaps some people. Brief time periods.

You meet. You hug. Lunch. Coffee. More coffee. Dinner. You smoke. You hallucinate. You laugh. Pink Floyd. Tool. And the next 10 hours are a little hazy.

You pack your bags and move for your next destination. Edward Norton asked in Fight Club : If you wake up at a different place, at a different time, is it possible you wake up as a different person. Actually yes, if you wake up among different people called Family.

Kota

You talk. You laugh. You eat. You pray. You make small talk. Future plans. Marriage. Job. Food. Salary. Some more blah blah. You pack your bag and it’s time for the great Indian wedding.

Itarsi

People to lift luggage – Check

Taxi to pick you up – Check

Hotel to crash – Check

Good great group of friends – Check

Tonnes of food – Check

Music – Uncheck

Chicks – Uncheck

Dance – Uncheck

Booze – Check

And amid them, tones of jokes about Anshul.

You pack your bag. Take a train. Fight for the reserved birth. Give it up later for a hot chick. Try to make small talk. No phone number. No Facebook account. You de-board, tired of sitting after giving up your birth

Mumbai

Yes, it's crowded. Yes, there are slums. And ye,s everybody wants to be a millionaire. It's once again meeting, hugging, eating, shopping, drinking, puking, smoking, hallucinating, losing a bag, tripping, dancing and more blah.

All in all. Ten bloody fucking days of fun incorporated.

And Yes. Anshul is still an asshole.

Trivia about Rajnikant 2

1. When Rajnikant dies..his tombstone will not read RIP. It will read.......BRB!!

2. There are no lesbians. Only women who have not met Rajnikant!

3. Once Rajnikant kicked a horse in the chin.. It's decendents were found to be giraffes!!

4. When Rajnikant does push ups, he isn't lifting himself up, he is pushing the earth down...!!! :o :D

5. Rajnikant knows Victoria secret

6. There is no Ctrl button on Rajnikant's pc beacuse Rajnikant is always in control

7. Rajnikant died 20 years ago. Death hasn't built the courage to tell him yet!

8. Some people claim to walk on water, Rajnikant can swim through land.

9. When Rajnikant smokes up, the weed gets high!!!

10. The world cannot end in 2012 because Rajnikant bought a laptop with 3 years warranty

11. If Rajni Kant, nobody Can!!!

12. Rajnikant is not a star, he is Universe! He is the Big Bang!

13. Rajnikant can come up with an amicable solution on Ayodhya in 60 seconds. It will be amicable because Rajnikant says so

14. Only Rajnikant can fix all the things in CWG

15. Rajnikant can count till infinity. Twice

16. Rajnikant can delete recycle bin also

17. Only Rajnikant Can call Lord Voldermort by name!

18. Once Rajnikanth was denied VISA to Australia. He kept his hand on the head of the child. The child's name was VVS Laxman.

19. Rajnikant * 0 = Rajnikant

20. Rajnikant can finish Mario Bros without using the Jump button

21. Rajnikanth participated in a 100m race and obviously came 1st. But Einstein died after watching that, because light came 2nd!!!

22. Rajni was once playing 'Statue' with someone.. now tht someone is knw as 'Statue of Liberty' :P

23. God once made a mistake and exclaimed, "Oh my Rajinikanth!".

24. The new rupee symbol is merely Rajnikanth's signature

25. Rajnikant once taught a kid to enter a house without ringing the bell... The kid is now known as Sub-inspector Daya!!!

26. Secret of Apple logo revealed...It was Rajnikant who ate the Apple..!!!

27. Rajnikant wrote a cheque without balance.. the bank bounced..

28. 20 years later 'ROBOT' will make a film called "Rajnikant".........!!!

29. Only Rajnikant can unlike a post on Facebook

30. Mrs.Pratibha Patil is Indian citizen no.1...No. of Rajnikant number is 0

31. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Rajnikant allows to live.

32. When Rajnikant logs into twitter, twitter informs Rajnikant What's happening!

33. Rajnikanth is making a movie called 'Twitter' and he's going to be playing all 140 characters.

34. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.

35. Google won’t find Rajinikanth because you don’t find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.

36. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.

37. Rajinikanth can speak Braille.

38. Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result – He was reduced to a joke on the internet.

39. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikanth”.

40. Finally something tha THE RAJNIKANT can't do: Bat Like Sachin!!!

(Courtesy: Ashutosh, Kartik, Konark, Hrishikesh, Sumedh and so many other people whose dedication towards this great purpose will be remembered for the years to come. This is just a tribute to you guys. Cheers!)

Dating Guide 2 : The Bitter Better first dates

So Guys, It’s the D day. Date-Day.

You dress up in one of the very few finest pair of clothes you have. But before wearing them you make your way to the nearest neighbour with an excuse to use his Deo, just to let him know that you are going on a date. Finest and funkiest pair of sneakers are chosen and stolen from outside the room of a Freshie. And you are up and ready to go.

You reach at the pre-decided place at the exact time only to wait for a good thirty minutes before the lady arrives with an excuse of either traffic or of dropping some friend off in the way. You enter the restaurant and use all the tips and tricks you have gathered through Bond movies and TV series to look awesome.

The real fun starts when you take a table and the conversation begins. It always begins with what you do in life besides studies. (Who cares for what you study anyway!) So if the answer has keywords like ‘SRK movies’, ‘Chetan Bhagat,’jogging’, ‘world peace’, ‘A Walk to Remember’ or ‘mom-dad’ – it’s time to get cautious. This is your first red signal. And it's also an indicator that all your years of wiki knowledge, tons of hours spent on classic cinema, statistics of cricket and histories of metal bands, memorized back and forth, are being dumped into a dustbin. That too, a dustbin with a shredder. Neither acquired knowledge nor previous information has any scope, in the future, with this girl.

But still the situation is under control. All this initial damage has created, is, a few moments of awkward silence and nothing all. Now you change the course of discussion to life in college. Keywords to be warned of here – sleep, boring, mom-dad.

But still there is a chance to salvage this date. You start with your life and how you got caught ‘smoked up’ in an exam and saved yourself with sheer awesomeness. If the reply is, “Really???”, then you are saved. But if the reply is, “I hate smoking”, then you are…

Gone.

Dead.

Killed.

By the time food arrives you are sure that all the over-expensive French and Italian food items you ordered, whose name you memorized last night, are complete waste. Now all that is left is to save a few bucks. But the motherfucker Waiter always wait for this opportunity, when he sees two people on a date, to recite all the things in the menu – soup, starters, deserts , mock tail, cocktail , etc. That is when you pray in your heart that the Girl does not fall into the trap and order something.

But other than this the major issue is to pass the time between soup and main course and desert. You try to message some random guy, read some forwards to lighten up the mood, talk about the weather, future plans, blah blah blah…

The only savior in these conditions is 'good waxed legs'. They can be of anyone's. Either the girl you are with or the girl sitting right across to you or even the girl passing by the road visible from the window. Those are the only things which will be your whole and sole entertainment. But if you have lived in the great city of Chennai – you are

Gone.

Dead.

Killed.

Now it’s time for goodbye. You are happy. She is happy. You promise each other to catch up soon only to turn around and swear never to see each other. And that brings an end to this great date Saga.

Only to get started all over again in a couple of weeks because We all love to date. Don’t we???

Dating Guide : The Bitter Better first dates

Boring dates. Yes, we all have been victims on that front at least once in our lives. There can be infinite reasons behind why a date turned out to be boring... like a disastrous laugh or a horrendous voice or an acute lack of ability to understand Kalmadi jokes. But let’s stick to the statement – "It just didn't click". It's really interesting (am I being a sadist?) to see expectations getting shattered, dreams getting crushed. And yet, what the hell. We all love to date.

But let us focus first on the buildup that it takes until the bomb drops. First you manage to get yourself fixed for a date, and being a student of an engineering college -- that too an IIT, where the sex ratio has been rounded off to zero for a better approximation since the inception of these prestigious institutes -- is sufficient to make you feel like the king of the planet. You spend some nights imagining how the date will be. And how then it will turn into a long walk along the beach. And then how the CCD’s caffeine will play its role along with the stimulation of the forest reserve , which the IIT shows off, to get you an awesomely-ever-dreamed-make-out. Oh, at this point let me tell you – imagination is all we have. 'We', as in the engineers' army. As rightly said by a great scholar, "They can take our grades, they can take our LAN, they can close the gates at 11, but they can't take our imagination". So coming back to the point -- you imagine and you do all your stuff enjoying that imagination till reality hits you.

On the out-of-the-room front -- it’s time to brag. You go to the room of the nearest friend -- or to that of a friend like Anshul, if you have one, that is. But the trick is that you don’t blabber it out. You wait for the right moment, when the friend will ask you questions related to your life and you will proudly declare yourself as the date-winner, and will go through the entire process in a very casual manner, as if it’s regular stuff for you.

But no son-of-a-bitch friend will ask you anything.

Me: So what’s the plan for tomorrow? Doing anything?

Friend: Nah, regular stuff.

(Damn it, at least a courtesy of “What about you?” would have been appreciated!)

Me: I might not be attending the concrete class tomorrow.

Friend: Okay.

(That was a lame attempt. As if he cares.

Now this is the masterpiece – strike where it matters to him)

Me: Dude, can I take you bicycle? I have to go to the main gate.

Friend: Why do you need to go to the main gate?

(buzzinga!!)

So now, after all of them know about the date stuff, an all-son-of-the-bitches'-council meeting is called. The only purpose of this meeting is to prove that your over-exaggerated description of the girl is just a sham. For the starters – the FB/orkut profile is opened and searched. The scrutiny done then is far more intense then what any company does during placements. From 'about me' to 'statuses' to the 'likes' to the 'groups', and most importantly, the pics are put under heavy-duty scanner. Any small thing -- a like on a Kalmadi speech video or a Justing Beiber video on her profile -- and you are mocked all through the night to prove that you are a loser going on a date with this girl. But steel-minded as you are, you always believe these are just a bunch of jealous guys.

And then the day of the date comes. (...to be continued)

Bangalore happened

"From lungi to pants, from sweat to sweaters, from ACs to fans, from no meter to meter, from a desktop to a laptop, from 6^th to 7^th floor, from friends to friends, from orange to gray, from Beroe’zgaar to Capital’one’ist, from Chennai to Bangalore – the transaction is done. In the midst of these changes, I feel stability. I feel peace."

I wrote that in the beginning of August when I shifted to Bangalore -- but never got the required enthusiasm or zeal to complete it. Life in Bangalore is so much different from that in Chennai. Life in Capital One is so much different from the one in Beroe. Since I have now come to Bangalore, I am living my life in each moment. I am not thinking about anything beyond two months in both the directions of time. I am not dreaming anymore. I am not writing. I am just trapped in the four walls of a happy and content life, a life which I had dreamed of. Living with friends, working in such a company within a city like Bangalore. I was satisfied, all I wanted was to sit back and know that it was for real. But things and memory tear apart the walls, while you sit, sipping pina-colada. Somethings make you realize that life is much more than sleep, work and fart. It’s a little deeper. And I believe writing helps me explore those deeper meanings. So now I am back. I have promised myself at least one post a week or four posts per month. Whichever be possible.

I apologize to all my blog friends for being absent from the scene for such a long time. I hope you will forgive me, considering you generous enough to even leave comments on my blog. J

Just to update you with another character who will be appearing frequently on future blog post -- this character is Jadoo. He is an IIT-mate and now a flat mate. He is working for a firm which is growing at a rate 1473%, and we believe the company is going to overpower all the Fortune 10 companies within ten years. Now, this has become possible ever since Jadoo has joined the place.

To tell you a Secret, Jadoo is no one else but the kaliyug avatar -- Kalki -- that we have listened about and heard and prayed for. He has the power of awesomeness and can make anyone awesome using his awesome rays, just like he did with the company. Since Jadoo has come, the tourism industry of Bangalore has increased by 120%. He was the one referred to by Kalmadi when he made his famous statement, “I am sure, the new heroes will be born here (India).” I am lucky to be living in the proximity of such a great great man. Let’s hail Jadoo!!