Life

Sehra told me once that life is the best poker player. She never opens all its cards at once. Whenever you think you have caught it, it was a bluff. Just when you think you got it, it fools you again. Life always has a card up her sleeves. And it plays them beautifully. One by one. She tests you. She plays with you and just when you are about to give up, she lets you win a round so that you can keep playing. And I was just about to give up....

Love at first sight

I never used to believe in love at first sight. I still don’t. But it simply happened when I saw her the first time. Her high forehead, the sharply defined chin, pale skin, long dark hair, high delicate eyebrows, strong nose, narrow mouth and full lips delimitated the logic and reasoning. The love that time was unburdened by the complexities of expectations or the plans for the future. It was a free spirited love tied to the smile on her face, controlled by her presence in the room and dominated by the words coming out of her lips. It’s impossible to separate lust from love. In that case lust was not defined by the desires of the body but by her gentle touch when we shook hands, touch of her body when she was at the backseat of my bike, smell of her hair while sitting beside each other. It was the time when the day was successful with a single glance of her, the joke was funny with a simple smile from her and every action was justified if it gets a nod by her. That feeling never leaves you. That feeling never comes back. That love never happens again.

100 things not to do in an email.

Just when you hear the news that Ashutosh aka Janwar is the first person to get places, Sajal has started his own firm, Anshul is talking rebelliously, Ravi is trying skating, Pattrow is talking about loyalty and Saurabh is getting best employee award – you realize that end of the world is close. Just when you are about to lose all the hopes about God’s creativity , life present you with a star born to eclipse every shining object. I met this guy on my trip to Beep (In accordance to Kabil Sibbal vigilance instructions), I met this guy named beep. Couple of months back he met a girl, got his id and wrote her a letter. This letter is very informative and should be a part of the Mail Writing 101 lectures titled– 100 things not to do in an email.

Attaching the letter for your reference and learning:

Hi Beep(name),

Greetings ! I am the crazy boy(LOL) who spoke to you yesterday night on Beep :-) Just thought of dropping in an email to say hi. I am sorry I couldn’t introduce myself properly in the short window of time (Really !!) which we had yesterday evening. I am Beep(name) currently working for beep(company) in beep(city). I have just now finished my BE in Mechanical Engineering from beep(college) and see myself working in beep(city again!) for at least 2-3 more years.

I am an army kid and my father is a doctor in the Indian army. So I have spent most of my childhood in various places including but not limited to J&K, Himachal Pradesh, Rajasthan, Delhi, Chandigarh, Mumbai, Pune, Goa, Hyderabad and like.( All these places just in childhood !)

What about you? You are a fashion design student, right?

It was really nice interacting with you yesterday!

Look forward to hearing from you.

Cheers!

Now you know 100 things which you should never do while writing a mail.

If I would have got two more hours a day in my life

It pains. Quite a bit. And to be very frank, its really embarrassing lying in the middle of the road in your own blood, puke, intestines and what not.They say your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the moment before you die. I can make out some people’s faces. Some of whom I never thought will come to my mind again. Maybe it’s due to the head injury. Or maybe they are actually there… Asking me why I never had time for them…

I see my parents. My father whose calls I never picked up and my mother whose calls I hung up during the call… It was due to the lack of time after office. And sometimes, I was just out having fun with friends

I see my friend Rahul. There has been trouble going on his life and he tried to call me and talk to me. But I never could return back the calls since I was stuck in the traffic. The day I got the news of his suicide was the worst day of my life. I wish if I could have picked his call. I blame myself and I know there is nothing which can be done.

I see the face of my ex-girlfriend. She was just trying to spend some time with me. But with all the office and commuting, I was just not able to do it. I understand now that she was right in leaving me. I yearn for her every passing day.

I also see the cover of the books I picked but never finished. Titles of the movies, I wished I could have watched. I can also see my incomplete stamp collection.

I feel as if all these people and things are calling out my name and even today I am not in a position to reach them back. May be, If may be, I could perhaps have had two more hours a day in my life......

The awkward silence

(Please Note: If you do not have a sense of political incorrectness or silliness, or lack the potential to poke fun at gender bias or are completely incapable of understanding satire, this blog is not for you!)

Do you have a girl who says you are her friend? If ‘yes’ please proceed ahead.

Do you know what level of a friend you are to her? If ‘No’ please proceed ahead. If ‘Yes’ I am suing you for using my copyright theory.

Anyway, if you are here then let me tell you - There are three stages to any friendship with any girl.

Level I – when she calls you on her own.

Level II – When she shares every detail of the day with you.

Level III – This one is tricky. There is a very thin line between Level II and III. The answer is – when she confesses to you that she is down.

But trust me, it’s a really very awkward situation when she does that. Let me explain how.

So one of my friend, let’s say Paplu was a very good friend of let’s say Paplee. It was a warm summer day. The sun was at its peak. It will not be an exaggeration to say that it might have been the hottest day of the decade.

Paplee calls Paplu – Lets meet. Now Paplu was already at level II. They decide to meet at the cafeteria. Paplu was there at sharp 11.00; Paplee arrived at 11.32. She was looking tired and drained.

Paplu: Hey wassup. Late today? What happened?

Paplee: So if I am late one day, you will ask questions. What are you, my boyfriend now ?

Paplu: No!! No I was just asking – Are you ok?

Paplee: No, I am not feeling good.

Paplu: Yeah it’s the heat. You must be dehydarated. Right?

Paplee: Noooo…

Paplu: Head-ache?

Paplee: No, I am down.

(Paplu, of course, didn’t realize that ‘Down’ was ‘Down’. He thought…)

Paplu: Oh, so you are down with fever. It must be sun-stroke.

Paplee: No… I am DOWN.

(NOW Paplu got it)

Paplu: Oh.

(Awkward silence… more awkward silence… some more silence which is obviously awkward… this is not it, there are some more long scary moments of awkward silence)

Finally…

Paplu: So coffee?

Paplee: NO…

(Awkward silence)

Paplu: Iced tea then?

Paplee: I told you no…

(More silence, definitely awkward)

Paplu: Hmmm… So lunch?

Paplee: Damn it. You are an idiot!

Paplee gets up and walks away….

Now you see why Paplu never got to Level III. I have never been to Level II. I don’t know anyone who has handled this Level III situation perfectly. I am sure there should be a way but what, how. I don’t know.

Still my question is: Why girls do this? I mean we never share if we have a night fall. We never share if we get fungal infection down there. I am not saying you are wrong. I just want to say – we are not the right person. We are not made to handle this that’s why we don’t get it. I mean either teach us the protocol to handle it or expect us to fail.

Well, I am still looking for answers. Let’s see if I ever get one…

Anna & India's August Kranti - But for how long?

On the risk of being called unpatriotic, disloyal, traitor, coward, terrorist, cynical and worse even congress supporter, I am putting it down. I don’t believe anything significant will come out of this protest. I am simply putting the points which I have pondering around for a long time, trying to get a powerful counter argument but didn’t find any. But I would be more than happy if anyone can convince me wrong. So here are some of my reasons for being skeptical or nearly sure about the final result of this protest which is going to be nothing:

1. The movement is supported by all the sections of the society, predominantly Middle class. Now for how long do you think that a working middle class is going to miss their work and keep protesting? I am not sure if I give it more than a week. The problem is the issue at hand; corruption does not risk the jobs of people. If that would have been the case, then I am sure the protest would have gone for long. Corruption, yes it hurts but it is not taking away our jobs and Job is going to suck back the people in their regular life.

2. The other significant factor is the absence of student bodies as universities and schools are still open. Such movements like 1975(JP Movement), 1990(Movement against VP Singh) had a great impact due to involvement of universities. I believe the success of this movement depends largely on that.

3. Whatever happens, I am not sure that it’s going to hurt Congress in long run. Memories of Indian People are of very short duration and it has been proved again and again with issues like MP bribe scandal, Indian Cricket team victories and defeat, reservation bill. Issues definitely stir up the scenes for a while but once it settles down, we Indians don’t ponder much about them much.

4. Team Anna is definitely doing a great job but the problem is their version of Lokpal Bill is way too tight for the other political parties to accept. It’s also safer to say that Corruption is an issue on which no political parties will lend their support to the motion. So it’s going to be a movement of people v/s political powers across all level. And absence of any support from political parties and students further strengthens my doubt over the success of this protest.

5. Last but not the least; I am not sure how many people are actually aware of the difference between Jan Lokpal and Lokpal bill, for which they are protesting.

I would love to be wrong on these issues so please prove me wrong

The Realisation-Struck Zindagi

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara or ZNMD as it will be referred to going forward, is an amazing film. It’s a film which made me understand so much about my life. There were so many things which I could relate myself to and all those scenes on screens made me look at them in a fresh perspective. Like, for instance, in the scene when Hrithik Roshan finishes scuba diving and comes out of the water, he starts crying. My first reaction was maybe it’s some fish which bit him like the way it bit me when I was snorkeling in Andaman, a couple of years ago, and I came out crying just like him. But I was wrong. In his case, it was the self realization-Kung-Fu-Panda-Inner-Peace kind of thing. It started me thinking that maybe I too had cried not because of any fish bite but because I too realized that earning millions of dollar, having a villa in Manhattan before turning 35 is a waste. Instead scuba diving in Spain – well that’s what is called Life!!

The movie also reminded me of another incident when I jumped from an eight-feet high wall with a cape tied across my back, in the hope of becoming a superman and started crying as soon as I hit the ground. Now I know it had nothing to do with the twisted ankle, just as in the case of Farhan Akhtar it had nothing to do with nausea or high blood pressure or anxiety caused due to a jump from a higher altitude. Fortunately, in my case, I was aware that my father and I sharethe same genetic traits, thanks to a school project, so I figure that that particular bout of crying was related to my realization that I am no Superman. It was the hard truth and I was not ready to face it.

But the part which wasclosest to my life was the bull running event. It reminded me of the time when the nasty-barking-rabies-infected-stray dog of my lane ran after me for a mile. Unlike the bull running, where only a few bulls are running behind thousands of people, that was a one-on-one encounter. That was the day I realized I should remain indoors after 10 PM and I must say that it was one hell of a “realization”.

ZNMD is a great movie as it has been inspiring so many people to think afresh and helping them in realizing so many things just like in my case. Now you can “realize” why ZNMD is so close to my heart. But this movie, like every good thing, has its own side effects as well. Last weekend I went to a water park. As you might be aware “urban” people in India think the straight slide to be a dangerous adventure. I decided to do that inspired by ZNMD. As soon as I came out of the water after completing the slide, I had tears my eyes. It was due to some stupid faulty edge of the slide, which scratched my elbow, and trust me, it was a pretty nasty blow. But my friends and people just left me alone thinking that it’s an intensely private moment for me as I must have realized something. Well what can I say; I guess the movie was pretty impactful.

Now wherever I go, I see people who have just crossed the road, people who have just got down from a Mumbai Metro train, people who have just been able to get a job – staring into the heaven. Looking for something to “realize”. Hoping for something to “realize”. The truth is ZNMD is a farce in which the characters are wealthy enough to not care about the banalities of real life and real relationships and in the end realize that their life is more important than the money which they have already earned. But the truth is, we, the middle class people have to do certain jobs and take care of relationships. No matter what we may have realized, Money is going to be the central axis around which life will always be revolving.

Relationships are funny

Relationships are funny. Aren’t they?

One day you are being told that lets be together and the very next day you are being told about not remembering anything due to the blackout after drinking last night

One day you are being blamed for being a changed person since the start of relationship and the very next day for not changing as per the expectations

One day you are being asked to keep your mouth shut and the very next day you are being questioned about your silence

One day you are being asked if you are sure and next day the partner himself/herself is not sure

One day it’s your messy hair which is repulsive and the very next day it’s your green T-shirt

One day it’s all about you better than ex and the very next day you are being worse than the ex himself

One day it’s all about doing things together and the very next day it’s about personal space

Indeed, they are funny enough. But they are important. Right?

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