Pyaar ke side effects

Summi once told me that Love effects you like drug. I interrupted in between even before she could complete her sentence and told her – “Yeah, Yeah I know. Love gets you high. But do you know – It’s because of the increased blood levels of adrenalin and cortisol which has the charming effect of getting your heart race and mouth dry when you unexpectedly bump into your new love. And also because of serotonin which explain why when you’re falling in love, your new lover keeps popping into your thoughts.” I finished my sentence and thought of the brilliant Sheldon Cooper. I also nearly said Buzzinga in my head but then she cut me off.

She told me that what she meant by getting high is that love make you hallucinate. It makes you read between the lines looking for the meanings which are not there, chasing for the signs which do not point anywhere, searching for the love which does not exist.

I wasn’t really sure about her statement but then she asked me – “Or how else you would explain so many one sided love stories?”

I couldn’t answer her.

Alternate Cocktail Experiments

Year 2011 has been a year with lot of booze. Not as much as last year but yeah definitely much more in terms of experimenting. These are the findings.

Experiment: Alternate Cocktails Experimentation

Apparatus: Vodka, White Rum, Scotch , Blender, Long tube shaped bowl, Sugar, Water

Procedure: 1. Take Alcohol, blender, bowl, sugar and place them on table at some distance from each other

2. Take 90 ml of Vodka in Bowl; Pour 50gm of Tang orange. Add chilled water and Blend it using Blender. A perfect drink for College students managing funds between Alcohol, snacks, Ice. Tang orange is a good substitute to Expensive cold drink. Add Sugar according to taste.

3. Take 90 ml of Vodka in Bowl; Pour 500 ml of Carrot/Cranberry Juice. Blend it using Blender. A perfect and amazing drink for health conscious people.

4. Take 90 ml of White Rum in Bowl; Pour 250 ml of Sugarcane Juice. Blend it using Blender. A good desert after a complete meal of hard drinks.

5. Take 90 ml of White Rum in Bowl; Pour 500 ml of thandai. Blend it using Blender. Created to duplicate the effect of Bhaang. May cause upset stomach next day. But totally a worth sacrifice.

6. Take 90 ml of Vodka in Bowl; Pour 50gm of Jaljeera. Add chilled water and Blend it using Blender. Another creation to match the Vodka Golgappe. Not a big success but still something which can be tried.

7. Take 90 ml of White Rum in Bowl; Pour 50 ml of Mint Cordial. Add chilled water and Blend it using Blender. No throw it in the sink. It’s a complete useless , utterly hopeless cocktail.

8. Take 90 ml of White Rum in Bowl; Pour 50 ml of Roohafza. Add chilled water and Blend it using Blender. Suggestion from a Friend/senior – Amrit. It’s the newest favorite.


Result: People tend to drink 45-75 ml more alcohol when served as a cocktail. This increases the chances of passing out by approximately 30-35%. It has also been noted that puking rate has drastically come down by 60%





Part II of Experiment – Alternate alcoholic Snacks

Rum-Choc sandwich – Take 4 slices of bread. Apply Chocolate sauce on one surface of the bread. Pour 10 ml of vodka on each slice. Put 10 gm of butter on each slice. Join the two slices and put them in Sandwich maker. Heat it for 4 min 35 sec and your Rum-choc sandwich is ready. This is the best dish you will ever taste.

Magg-scotch - Add 30 ml of Scotch in the normally prepared maggy. A perfect snack to eat up while you drink.


So these are all the experiments – good or Bad , Done in 2011. I am sure 2012 will add many more colors to my existing cocktails recipe. Let me know how you find them. Offcourse after you tried them.

Who am I ?

Sometime back one of my friend asked me to define myself and I said that I had no idea who I am. The past few months have made me realized who I am.

I am CONFUSED.

I have been a North Indian, born and brought up there but I have spent the prime of my life in South India. I equally love and hate both the parts of country. I like the springs in north and falls in south. I would prefer both Vada and Parantha equally as my choice for Breakfast. I love the serene calmness of the south as well as guzzling roads of North. I have the northern accent in the swear words I use and I also finish my sentence with ‘uh’ I equally hate the cultural hypocrisy of south and sleaziness of the north. I am in love with the intellectuality of the southerners’ and charm of the northerners’. I love the smells of gajras as much I like the smell of Itra. I like the woman dressed in Saris as well as in the Skirts. I found the thick southern English accent as funny as the Hariyanvi Hindi accent. I like the dusky shade of the skin as much as I like the bright fair tone of the skin.

I am not sure who I am.

I am not sure if I have lost my identity.

Or have I created one for me?

Life

Sehra told me once that life is the best poker player. She never opens all its cards at once. Whenever you think you have caught it, it was a bluff. Just when you think you got it, it fools you again. Life always has a card up her sleeves. And it plays them beautifully. One by one. She tests you. She plays with you and just when you are about to give up, she lets you win a round so that you can keep playing. And I was just about to give up....

Love at first sight

I never used to believe in love at first sight. I still don’t. But it simply happened when I saw her the first time. Her high forehead, the sharply defined chin, pale skin, long dark hair, high delicate eyebrows, strong nose, narrow mouth and full lips delimitated the logic and reasoning. The love that time was unburdened by the complexities of expectations or the plans for the future. It was a free spirited love tied to the smile on her face, controlled by her presence in the room and dominated by the words coming out of her lips. It’s impossible to separate lust from love. In that case lust was not defined by the desires of the body but by her gentle touch when we shook hands, touch of her body when she was at the backseat of my bike, smell of her hair while sitting beside each other. It was the time when the day was successful with a single glance of her, the joke was funny with a simple smile from her and every action was justified if it gets a nod by her. That feeling never leaves you. That feeling never comes back. That love never happens again.

100 things not to do in an email.

Just when you hear the news that Ashutosh aka Janwar is the first person to get places, Sajal has started his own firm, Anshul is talking rebelliously, Ravi is trying skating, Pattrow is talking about loyalty and Saurabh is getting best employee award – you realize that end of the world is close. Just when you are about to lose all the hopes about God’s creativity , life present you with a star born to eclipse every shining object. I met this guy on my trip to Beep (In accordance to Kabil Sibbal vigilance instructions), I met this guy named beep. Couple of months back he met a girl, got his id and wrote her a letter. This letter is very informative and should be a part of the Mail Writing 101 lectures titled– 100 things not to do in an email.

Attaching the letter for your reference and learning:

Hi Beep(name),

Greetings ! I am the crazy boy(LOL) who spoke to you yesterday night on Beep :-) Just thought of dropping in an email to say hi. I am sorry I couldn’t introduce myself properly in the short window of time (Really !!) which we had yesterday evening. I am Beep(name) currently working for beep(company) in beep(city). I have just now finished my BE in Mechanical Engineering from beep(college) and see myself working in beep(city again!) for at least 2-3 more years.

I am an army kid and my father is a doctor in the Indian army. So I have spent most of my childhood in various places including but not limited to J&K, Himachal Pradesh, Rajasthan, Delhi, Chandigarh, Mumbai, Pune, Goa, Hyderabad and like.( All these places just in childhood !)

What about you? You are a fashion design student, right?

It was really nice interacting with you yesterday!

Look forward to hearing from you.

Cheers!

Now you know 100 things which you should never do while writing a mail.

If I would have got two more hours a day in my life

It pains. Quite a bit. And to be very frank, its really embarrassing lying in the middle of the road in your own blood, puke, intestines and what not.They say your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the moment before you die. I can make out some people’s faces. Some of whom I never thought will come to my mind again. Maybe it’s due to the head injury. Or maybe they are actually there… Asking me why I never had time for them…

I see my parents. My father whose calls I never picked up and my mother whose calls I hung up during the call… It was due to the lack of time after office. And sometimes, I was just out having fun with friends

I see my friend Rahul. There has been trouble going on his life and he tried to call me and talk to me. But I never could return back the calls since I was stuck in the traffic. The day I got the news of his suicide was the worst day of my life. I wish if I could have picked his call. I blame myself and I know there is nothing which can be done.

I see the face of my ex-girlfriend. She was just trying to spend some time with me. But with all the office and commuting, I was just not able to do it. I understand now that she was right in leaving me. I yearn for her every passing day.

I also see the cover of the books I picked but never finished. Titles of the movies, I wished I could have watched. I can also see my incomplete stamp collection.

I feel as if all these people and things are calling out my name and even today I am not in a position to reach them back. May be, If may be, I could perhaps have had two more hours a day in my life......

The awkward silence

(Please Note: If you do not have a sense of political incorrectness or silliness, or lack the potential to poke fun at gender bias or are completely incapable of understanding satire, this blog is not for you!)

Do you have a girl who says you are her friend? If ‘yes’ please proceed ahead.

Do you know what level of a friend you are to her? If ‘No’ please proceed ahead. If ‘Yes’ I am suing you for using my copyright theory.

Anyway, if you are here then let me tell you - There are three stages to any friendship with any girl.

Level I – when she calls you on her own.

Level II – When she shares every detail of the day with you.

Level III – This one is tricky. There is a very thin line between Level II and III. The answer is – when she confesses to you that she is down.

But trust me, it’s a really very awkward situation when she does that. Let me explain how.

So one of my friend, let’s say Paplu was a very good friend of let’s say Paplee. It was a warm summer day. The sun was at its peak. It will not be an exaggeration to say that it might have been the hottest day of the decade.

Paplee calls Paplu – Lets meet. Now Paplu was already at level II. They decide to meet at the cafeteria. Paplu was there at sharp 11.00; Paplee arrived at 11.32. She was looking tired and drained.

Paplu: Hey wassup. Late today? What happened?

Paplee: So if I am late one day, you will ask questions. What are you, my boyfriend now ?

Paplu: No!! No I was just asking – Are you ok?

Paplee: No, I am not feeling good.

Paplu: Yeah it’s the heat. You must be dehydarated. Right?

Paplee: Noooo…

Paplu: Head-ache?

Paplee: No, I am down.

(Paplu, of course, didn’t realize that ‘Down’ was ‘Down’. He thought…)

Paplu: Oh, so you are down with fever. It must be sun-stroke.

Paplee: No… I am DOWN.

(NOW Paplu got it)

Paplu: Oh.

(Awkward silence… more awkward silence… some more silence which is obviously awkward… this is not it, there are some more long scary moments of awkward silence)

Finally…

Paplu: So coffee?

Paplee: NO…

(Awkward silence)

Paplu: Iced tea then?

Paplee: I told you no…

(More silence, definitely awkward)

Paplu: Hmmm… So lunch?

Paplee: Damn it. You are an idiot!

Paplee gets up and walks away….

Now you see why Paplu never got to Level III. I have never been to Level II. I don’t know anyone who has handled this Level III situation perfectly. I am sure there should be a way but what, how. I don’t know.

Still my question is: Why girls do this? I mean we never share if we have a night fall. We never share if we get fungal infection down there. I am not saying you are wrong. I just want to say – we are not the right person. We are not made to handle this that’s why we don’t get it. I mean either teach us the protocol to handle it or expect us to fail.

Well, I am still looking for answers. Let’s see if I ever get one…