Monday, August 20, 2007

THE DAY (20th August, 2007)

Today the day started like the normal one but its keep on turning a bit different. The things were looking different and changed. I don’t know whether it was real or it was just within me It was like I was waiting for something to happen very desperately. As the day progress the feeling of hope and despair keep on overwhelming each other. I got the message I was waiting and it was all hope. I was feeling very excited and happy after a very long time but the fear of everything getting blown away comes true again. I don’t know how could I have stopped that but in the last it was all over. Rite now my mind is full of thoughts. Thoughts about things, people, life, about myself. I am feeling lost. I don’t know but yeah some part or the other in my body is not happy. The dream shattered away after untiring efforts of 3.5 months. I want to talk about myself but there is nobody to listen. I want to shout but I can’t. I want to ask but I can’t. I want to feel but I can’t. I want to be HAPPY but CANT. I don’t know whether it was my nature or circumstances. I don’t know whether my born super power of an exceptional sense of humor is a boon or curse to me. My fault was I just wanted to be happy and the only way I know was to, take things lightly. People say I should be more serous in life but I don’t want to. I just want to be myself. I admit I try to dominate things because I believe that’s the best way to succeed and lead. It may be wrong but what if I know this is the only way till now and I followed it. No body told me the better way or I was not successful in them, in both cases I followed my way. Why people expect me to be like him, her or even like themselves. I am myself, why they can’t accept that. It’s true I don’t care about others but look on the positive side I am not doing or wishing to hurt anyone. Its just I don’t want myself to be part of their life rather I want them to be part of my life. I believe everyone try that. What’s wrong in that? People do change with time and I have changed a lot in last 3 months. Why don’t people see themselves changing? Everything changes with time but by how much, depends on us. I am in agony. I just want to go away somewhere far from here. I just want to hide somewhere. But I can’t. 5:30PM - first core meeting of my life, then the fucking lab report whose readings have already been lost by me, then search for the lady coord. I don’t know but I believe, keep running is the best way of salvation. It’s the only path I know. If you have some better way then please contact me ASAP. I wish this would be the only sad entry in my blog. Some last words thanks a lot to all my friends few to mention- FKD, naren, rajat, anshul, mms, sauvya, mili, samy, nimit. Thanks a lot for being with me.

Thursday, August 9, 2007

The 8RF game

I have been tagged by lays...
After a certain delay, here I go.

Here are the rules:

1. Players start with 8 random facts about themselves.
2. Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts.
3. Players should tag 8 other people and notify them they have been tagged.

8RF about me:

1) I once tried to hack my password. I just copied all the stars and put it in WordPad to see what happens…all it was stars only. God I can’t believe it was me only...

2) In class 9th we were playing truth and dare and my friend dared me to go out of the class without taking permission during the class. The class begins. I just stood up in between, put my hand on my mouth and start running as if I was vomiting…shit my teacher followed me to see whether I was all right. …ultimately I have to do vomit…

3) In our school canteen it used to be a matter of pride to steal samosa…when I tried and succeed in class 3rd..i was very happy. I proudly went to my home and told my mom about this…later u can imagine what would have happened….

4) I used to go to school in rikshaw….once when we were going , then due to some stione or something…rikhshaw got tilted and fell down…I was on the fallin side..unfortunately it was rainy season so in the next scene I was sitting in class with half of my clothes in was so embarrassing…

5) Aah this one is classic… when I was in class 6th I used to sit beside a gal, sometimes hands used to get touch each other…but for the first time I felt something.. hairs on my hand raised up…oh god it was awesome. Then in next some months I intentionally tried touching my hand to her …to my surprise she never tried to remove her hand :)

6) I was very bad in drawing..i generally used to loose my rank in class just due to that…so I decide something shd be done abt tht…my competitor submitted her drawing to madam..i was the last person in class doing the drawing paper ..Meanwhile madam left for drinking water . I just went and rubbed her wet drawing sheet on the table and kept it back…I was very happy that I am gonna rock this time …the result came..she again got the highest marks . Shuts that rubbing gave the drawing a grt shading effect...

7) In our coaching class we were sitting in the end…the class was abt metallurgy…the teacher was asking abt ores…we were having book in our bag..we opened it and start shouting the name of ores…now he told one fomula different from book. I shouted that its wrong…he asked me to stand and tell the answer. Meanwhile my friend kept the book inside..Oh fuch…I didn’t remember the formula…in the next scene I was out of class….

8) One of my friend harshi made the greatest fool out of me…we were chatting then one of our common friend come online …she told me that she has crush on me and she loves me…I was shocked..i told harshi what to do…she said u think yourself. Then I started telling the common friend that see its not like this way..we are friends..blah blah…then in the end harshi copy pasted some thing was the chat I was having with the common friend..shuts..she created the fake account and took out everything from my mouth what she wants...

I tag FKD, arpan, shruti, db, nimit, samy, sauvya, dhruv