Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Ten Commandments

1. Get four friends in life and share a single bed with them. The sleep will be long remembered ( All for good reasons, If you know what I mean)

2. Never ever be afraid to try things. Booze, Fag, Grass, Floyd, Depp, Wodehouse – Life is incomplete without experiencing them.

3. You can go and kill yourself if you are 23 and still a virgin.

4. No seriously, you need to die now. Like – Right Now!!

5. Spend your weekend only on maggi and egg once in a while.

6. If you are 23 and you don’t own a bike, I will come and kill you.

7. Stop living with your parents if you have crossed the age of 18.

8. Bitching is Nirvana.

9. Fall in love.

10. Meet Anshul Gupta and Michi once before you die.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

On Love and Relationship - 3

It’s been quite an on and off time for me in relation to my blog. I am stuck with a lot of things in life and nothing seems to be working out. So, I was trying hard to figure them out but, as usual, at the end of the day, you leave the things the way they are and you try to divert your attention. So here I am back to my old love.

Following the original series, I am back with the third edition.

We always believe that Love is true. Love is pure. Destiny. Soul mates. Etc etc.

I say it’s all crap. It’s a game and a purely biased game. Biased in terms that it is always controlled by one person. And, my dear friend, let me tell you - it’s not you, it’s her. You don’t believe me. Okay. Let me give you some examples.

You have been doing a lot of things very silently for her. You never receive thanks and you are always taken for granted for your efforts. So one day you decide that’s its high time and you need to make her realize that you don’t do all these things for general people. She needs to know that it’s because she is special therefore you are doing all these things. You prepare a long dialogue sequence. You rehearse it again and again in your mind. You even dream that once you have told this to her, she will come running towards you, tear away your clothes and you will have a wild sex on the floor. But the reality is a little different.

One day, you get hold of her. You start behaving differently as per plan and when she asks what’s bothering you, you let it all out. You speak for fucking 10 minutess, very passionately. You have excelled what you have imagined. If this was a movie scene, then the Oscar was waiting for you my friend. But the result?

She says one line – “I was having very high fever and you are behaving like this with me”.

Now what? This is a super bomb. You cannot argue on this. You cannot defend yourself. So, finally after 3 mins, you end up saying sorry to her, repeatedly.

If you are still not convinced, let me give you this other example.

You have been dating a girl for long. You spend a lot of time together. You talk like you are in a relationship with her. But she never accepts it. Now this is really frustrating. You have been trying to clear this thing for a long time. And one day, somehow you get this amazing strength and you confront her. You keep telling her that it’s the time when she needs to decide and put a tag on the thing which is going on between the two of you. While speaking you really feel amazed by your confidence and feel great that finally you were able to do this. But, but, but…

“You are also talking like this. Everybody talks so rudely to me. Even my canteen wale uncle was also rude to me” , she replies.

You say to yourself –“Canteen wale uncle! What does he have to do with this? “

But this time you are committed not to make the mistakes you made last time. You keep on defending so that she is unable to escape each time like this. She does not reply anything. You feel like winning. And this is when the Nuclear Bomb was waiting for you.

She starts crying.

Result – You end up saying sorry and promising that this topic will never be re surfaced. Not only you have been defeated this time, but you have been lawyered for eternity.

So My dear Male Friends, What you believe, What you think – It does not matter. She is a god and you can’t defeat her. The sooner you accept the fact, the better.

[Based on a series of discussions with Paplu and Flick.]