Monday, December 28, 2009

Review of 3 Idiot: "Why rancho was an Idiot"

Had a chance to saw the movie 3 Idiot last night. Great movie. Tonnes of Sentimental stuff. Lots of messages. Great navel show by Kareena. Over and all a great movie. I mean atleast that what I thought when I came out of hall. But later in night, thinking about kareena, I got my attention slipped on other parts of movie too and I realized that it was of the greatest disaster film ever created in the industry after the SRK films. Sure if you think from my angle.

1. The most irritating thing was the ascent of Boman Irani. Yeah it was good when it was in Kaminey but don’t repeat the same thing and that too with such a irritating make up and hair style. I mean c’mon you don’t need the character to be hateful through make up. Let the script do it.

2. “All izz well”… that is the status message of half of my friends, currently online in my gtalk account. Now dude, c’mon gimme a break. What is all the hype about? It was just so insensible if you think to do in practical life. Just observe, even the little ‘Champ’ was kicking hard to shut them up. He even started crying, begging them to stop saying that irritating message again and again. And all these 3 + 20 other idiots was thinking, it was the magic of ‘All izz…well’. They even had a complete song dedicated on this. Absolute brilliant show of idiocracy!

3. Why the fuck ‘mili meter’ was crying when rancho gets the best student award. I mean who the hell cries on graduating day and even when he is receiving an award. I have never seen anybody crying in my college. Even who got the extension was chilling out. But again, why the hell ‘mili meter’ was senti.

4. Now its good that rancho decide to help joy in making his final year project. But again, in one more great show of (in)sensibility he tries to keep it secret and surprise him. And the result, you all know. Yeah now I agree with Rancho that it was a murder. But Rancho, you fucking moron. You are responsible for it. You idiot, you should have just told him that, ‘let me help you and we will complete the project’. Instead he tried to be superhero, doing everything alone and keeping the poor fellow joy in trauma for the days when our idiot Rancho was trying to make a super final year project in his first year itself and that too in the constrained amount of time.

5. There used to be a detective serial on DD2 – ‘Raja and rancho’ where Rancho was played by a moneky. That moneky even was smarter than our dear Aamir Khan. You remember, after helping Mona giving birth to a child, Rancho just lifts his bag and starts moving out. Now the scene started with all the three friends leaving together. But finally he starts moving alone. I mean, simply a 3rd class footage taking attitude. Dude be mature. Yes you are an idiot.

6. Rancho had 400 patents on his name and none of the Indian TV channel, even the IndiaTV also, didn’t cover him - looks so farfetched. I mean hirani was excellent with timeline of the movie. He even attached the 2004 Mumbai rains with the graduating year and related it with plot greatly. But Mr. Hirani, Technology is one more thing if you haven’t heard. You ignored the sheer brilliance of media bringing everything buried out. They do it literally once when they get the prince out of the tubewell hole.

7. The movie was racist in his theme. The way they insult the great tamilians celebrated tradition to mug, mug and mug, along with trying everything to leave others behind is mocked all the way in movie. Now I hereby I strongly condemn the scenes featuring chatur as the biggest asole , farting sambhar smell throughout the movie. On the record I would like to say that I sincerely appreciate his gesture of providing the much needed porno magazines to relieve the pressure during exam time. He was so much different from the usual tamilians and trying to help other fellow students in concentrating for exam. On the other hand, what do you say about Rancho securing first rank year after year and our other two idiots getting screwed up? Rancho was all the way motivating them, not to study and secretly studying on his own. Now that is should be bring ahead and blamed.

8. Who the fuck go and have a marriage in Manali and that too when you are well settled in Delhi. I mean, that was way out of line. I don’t even want to discuss this. Just one thing – Kareena and ‘Price Tag’ was engaged when Rancho was in 1st or 2nd year. Now after 4 year of college + 5 year of wilderness – 2 initial years = 7 years. This is the courtship period for kareena. What the …Fuck!!

I have just one thing to say – the title of the movie shouldn’t be 3 Idiots but ‘300 idiots’. In the loving memory of all the 300 morons who worked their blood and sweat to make it possible for the movie to cross all the limits of idiocracy!!

Hats off for the team!!

PS 1: I forgot to mention about the 2 months extra expensive medication at the posh hospital in Delhi while the price of bhindi being Rs. 12/kg makes you go haywaired. Plus 2000 bucks new saree. Who the hell is financing…Raj Kumar Hirani??

PS2: Rancho used to visit the blog of Sharman joshi and never lefts a comment. Now that is crime according to penal court of blogosphere. So folks, if you are not leaving comment, then you are a state convict. Mind It!!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Office Humour - 1

Last night I was thinking to write something but the most irritating thing was, I was not able to find anything in my life worth writing. Nothing funny, nothing weird and not even regular sheer bad luck fiascos of my life. All good, better, ok, worst part of my life is office now. Its not that, I don’t find things happening in office deviated from normal but I prefer not to mention them in Public blog. Ok let’s say until I am working for this firm, Employee non-disclosure agreement prohibits me to. But then today, I realized that I can write on a general principle/policy/Mail-by-HR-for-getting salary which is followed throughout the world. So the first thing which came to mind was this piece which I did on this Diwali as my stand-up-comedian stint (stunt as you better say).

Corporate firms have so many great noble thoughts for their employee. Like they take so much extra efforts to keep them motivated (yeah yeah, I am expecting appraisal next month). Every company has Buddy/mentor/a guy-to-whom-you-never-talk policy where a guy working in the firm for long is assigned to you and you can discuss about your personal/work / pantry food / flush in urinals/hot chick coefficient related issue. I mean they put it this way on paper.

But do you really think it ever happens. The thing is we guys never talk about our personal issues with other guys. We go and ask for fag, we ask for score or sometimes deadlines too but we never ever talk about the roommate listening ‘Tum Mile’ songs from last 1.5 months everyday and neither about the cocky reliance cell alarm buzzing for 2 hours every morning. And trust me, these issues effect your efficiency and that too in badly.

So I have a suggestion for the corporate firms – Change your policy. Don’t scrap it but modify it. I recommend ‘GF Policy’.

Just think, you enter into the office first day and a GF is assigned to you. Now the purpose of your GF is to listen your blah blah, console you while you are sobbing after project review and keep you motivated.

The two most important things which a company demands from a employee is quality and meeting-the-most-unrealistic-deadline-potential. How my suggestion touches upon both the issues, let me explain you with two examples:

Example 1: Mr M has a tendency to leave the office at 8(though office timings are 6:30). Now the manager has a concern that Mr M is not working at full efficiency. He follow the top down approach that is Manager>> HR >> GF. The action is immediately taken and GF approach towards Mr M.

GF – Hey sona, why don’t you complete this work by 9 so that I can submit a report on this by 10 and then we will go for a beautiful dinner. Tum kar loge na jaanu?

Mr M: haan haan, kyun nahin.

Result: Mr M worked continuously from 11-8:30 and get the work done before the given time limit. Job well done!!

Example 2: Mr M is not able to understand a completely new industry, contact experts and suppliers, write a 80 page report along with editing, formatting in 3 weeks. In case, he completes it by above mentioned way then the quality is missing. Again the same cycle Manager >> HR >> GF.

GF: you know what, sheena is teasing me from the morning that Pratik’s report has got a great feedback and you reports is back with a lot of corrections asked again. You know how much hurt i am.You never think about me.

Mr M: no no dear, its not like that. Pratik worked on a report done before and I am working on a completely new industry.

GF: I don’t want excuses. Just tell me- wheter you will get a great feedback for your next report or not?

Mr M..ahh…. Definitely dear. Anything for you…

SEE job well done again!!

So that’s my point. A little changes in the policy and get the desired results. I guess I will be busy with some of my personal commitments (trust me, no gal involved this time. I mean except the one , my brother is marrying) for the coming few weeks but I have decided to keep my eyes/ear open and mouth shut and document some more of the office humor.

PS: Its like a dream coming true. My bro is getting married in Dec. Though he ditched me on the common wedding day plan but I forgive him whole heartedly for giving me the best gift ever – Boni Bhabhi. The day which we imagined so many times, in all so many different scenarios is finally here.

Monday, November 16, 2009


For the past few weeks life has been so damn busy that only thing for which I try to sneak free time is reading articles on Sachin. It has been my only entertainment source and specially completing 20th year and all the media limelight and tones of articles is taking up all the time. Personally, the record of 2 decade doesn’t excite me because I have been cheering all through his career and I don’t need a day when I should stop and look back at all the great moments. The time to retrospect is still not here and I don’t want to feel that way now for sure.

The only thing that forced me to write today is a comment from Imran Khan. In his own words- “If there is one area in which Sachin is ahead of his contemporaries, it is focus. Inzamam-ul Haqwas possibly even more gifted, but Sachin was more successful due to his commitment and focus”

Dude… are you serious ? Only ‘focus’ ? ? That’s all he has ? ? Or it is the only English word you know?

And who is this Inzy??

The same guy who is famous for getting himself out in the most bizarre fashion possible. I guess I remember him falling on to his own wicket after an attempted sweep shot. Yeah, now I remember. He is that same fellow who starts every prize presentation ceremony with "Bismillah(In the name of Allah)” followed by a rape session of the English language along with “ladke acha khele” & “allah ka shukra hai”

I so badly want to rape this moron named Imran khan, always living in a self created illusion that Inzy is the best and that he was the one to identify him. I agree he is good, probably best in the last decade of Pakistani cricket. But for being great- you need much more than focus. You should be able to balance yourself atleast, that is for sure. If you don’t want to join the party, sit back and watch a hugh grant movie. Dont start blabbering around.Rameez is perfectly doing this job on your behalf. I am sure, it must be a dream job for him. Saying anything and getting paid.

There is so much more to write but deadlines, CFA & CAT…..whoof!!

I should get back to work.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Master, Idiot and a friend

Today was the day when the long lasting wait of 11 years comes to end. The day which will be marked in history, in memories and in cricket books forever. The man has showed his metal again. Proved again why he is a genius. The master was always there but today it was blaster yet over again. You can feel from the moment he threw the ball on ground in disgust after taking a superb catch off the last ball. The fire was there. Determination oozing from the body language.

The target was never supposed to be achieved but it was a matter of good fight for all the world except one. He who was sure that nothing is impossible. Rest of the team was trying to be a part of a lost battle but a single soldier lead the whole battle alone. He used all his experience. Gave strike to sehwag, took control after he departs, torn away the debutants, conserved his energy for a while foreseeing the fierce last round. Everything was way too perfect, completely planned. The sprain was not there, the straight lofty shots over the bowlers head were back and even a pull displayed a long forgotten weapon.

But no matter how much you plan or get determined, the body asks for his debt. But today there was nothing which could come in between him and his target. The army was strong on papers but the target to conquer defeated them without even trying. The master then used the new soldiers who were unaware of the fear, who was there happy on the chance of being on the other end of the master. But sight of a single man fighting alone, gave the strength to them which they never would have imagined.

Pointing was helpless, hauritz was torn apart and Watson was ineffective. The victory was near but a desperate attempt to reach it faster took it all away. The rest was just a trump of cards running wildly on the field in the hope of win. But ozzies was cautious and they made no mistake. Still the master has taken the pride of victory from them. The game will be remembered for just one person and his brilliant efforts.

In our society we used to play cricket like everyone. We used to keep a brick as the bowling end stumps and the probability of hitting it was like 1/Avogadro number. Consequently, we used run to the middle of the pitch each time the ball connected the bat and still managed to return safely. Especially if the other team consists of players like Lala, Munna, Raju and Kallu. May be its time for Jadeja to realize that international cricket has nothing similar to galli cricket. There are 3 stumps (covering a total area of 0.1 sqaure metres) at the bowling end to aim at while the opposition has players like Ponting whose probability of missing the stumps is as much as the probability of seeing Halley's comet. Stop running around you fucking idiot.

It was all the fucking nostalgic feeling all over again today. 1 more great friend left the place for a better future. I never thought after coming out of IIT. I could meet a person with such a same frequency but I was way too wrong. It all started with the little break session, followed by combined studies and then reached to 24*7 fart level. Mudit was the finance god as it was told me but he was much more than that. The greatest taste of music I ever seen in a person, a friend, a mentor, a philosopher (yeh to LOL ho gaya). Okay to be very true, he was one more guy in my life with whom I have evolved in life. I realized so many things about people, about world and about myself. Life in Chennai was so much fun with him and it will not be same now. It so fucking awful when you are not the person leaving the place. But nothing can fade away the memories of the night we ‘Stripped’ [not literally, its just the tag given to the night of self exploration). "ek baar 3 log bike par ja rahe the"....... i promise they will go again some day

All the best dude!! Keep rocking the world!!

PS: LCP rocks [:D]

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Society, World peace and The Absolute Truth

It has been a great weekend with a hell lot of good movies back to back. Started by the awesomest, must watch ‘District 9, followed by ok types ‘Ugly truth’, a decent but clichéd ‘The proposal’, a good hindi comedy after a long time ‘All the Best’ and repeat watch of the greatest script ever written ‘The man from earth’. But the one which was the topic of the weekend was Woody Allen’s ‘Whatever works’.

It was my first woody Allen movie and I am really cursing myself to miss all his work for such a long time. It’s going to be Woody Allen movie weekend in not so distant future. The thing which attracted me most was the way he describes the Society. he has this unique approach towards the norms of society which are imposed on us and we follow them like a pet animal without arguing about it. Whosoever do, we tag them as crazy and put them on bloody pills.

Me and my friend Mudit started discussion around 12 in the night continued till 4:30 in the morning. The discussion started with the theory that all the wars/uprising/revolution has occurred to attain equality. Two groups in society, one group harassing other and latter one revolting. Same old story. But the great thing is we are still nothing close to attain that. The imbalance is the inherit property of the nature and we should accept it.

The other thing was, there has been terrorism in all the centuries in one form or the other. Today it is terrorism, before that it was fascism, colonialism, crusade etc. The thing is whatever we do, this will not end. This is inherent nature of our species. If we curb terrorism, then something else will crop up. So don’t expect ‘World Peace’. Just pass your lifetime and enjoy the life while you can.

Now coming back to society. I believe society is the greatest conspiracy of the world. I read one article in which it was mentioned that etiquettes was imposed by the ‘higher class’ people to distinguish from the society. It started at that time and by now we all accept that fact that it is civilized to eat using fork. Just be logical for a sec and think, how can you judge a people with the thing whether he eats by fork or hand. It is goddamn food meant to be eaten.

The roots of this conspiracy are so deep that we don’t even feel rational to question them. Let me give you one more example.My friend was playing a guitar and suddenly he stopped playing and told me it was a wrong note. I thought on this issue and realized that how it would have occurred. Sometime back in 1200 AD, 10 people met. 1 played some music which he likes. The rest 9 of them disliked it. They tagged it as wrong note and it continued century to century because some bunch of morons who were in majority decided so. How the fuck can you judge the music. It’s all based on perspective. I believe all the rules, regulation and notions are the opinion of the people who were in majority at certain time when these were originated. But decision of majority doesn’t make the opinion of minority wrong. One thing which always amazes me is that we create so much hype on human murder but none of them says anything against murder of chicken. Who are we to decide that human life is more valuable than the chicken’s life.

Then we came on the final part of our discussion. THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH.

In our life everything is relative. Let it be happiness, pain, hunger, thirst. I mean everything ranging from your feel to wealth, love to education, success to failure. Nothing is absolute. Now if you notice there is only thing which is absolute that “NOTHING IS ABSOLUTE”. Is this the truth what we search throughout our life.

We felt so enlightened that night.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


Monday, October 12, 2009

The Tune She Hums

I have been a decent music lover since my high school. One of the greatest things about this passion is that your life gets chronologically attached to the specific songs. For example: Vikas bhalla covers grade 7-9, stereo Nation takes grade 10, Sathiya was on in 11th and Lucky Ali in grade 12th similarly every old song remind me of certain phase of my life.

Later the addiction increased and the theme music of certain things started putting tag on my life. The best tag has been the starting music of ‘How I met your mother’. This reminds me the greatest days of my life. The days when I was with the biggest assholes of the world. The days when we used to collect 5 bucks from 7 people, Marlboro was the luxury, minute maid was a dream and Idli-sambhar was the destiny.

So coming back to the tune part. Last week HIMYM started airing again and the same tune was there. So many things started flashing again. Damn those days.

The week was followed by a reunion in Bangalore. But it is an accepted fact now that the reunion is never going to be complete. Everyone will never be together again. This time it was sajal, sumedh, Vipul, Rajat, Jadoo and achar missing but luckily lot of people were there. Trust me, reunion is such a bad idea when you have to come alone back to Chennai. The trip was way too awesome. But trust me, the huge spending ( 11k mine and 18k Ravi) will never ever give the feel of those days. Fuck this money!

Anyways it was a great meet. Usually great Anshul’s butt-Fucking session, Kshitiz’s “ OOOO Naaaa” [My dear cousins, Please buzz me for more details on OOO NAA], HRC, Absolute, VAT 69, UB city etc etc. But I have made a note to myself to avoid reunions until I am in Chennai.

SPARKS rocks

OOO NAA double Rocks!!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Random facts

These are some of the facts i came across on Google search:

You have less of a chance being killed by a falling piano then you do of being adopted by Angelina Jolie....statically speaking ( Courtesy: Abstruse goose).

Did she has any Indian kid???

Aiken et al. (2002) reported that for every patient added to a nurse’s workload, the patient’s risk of dying within 30 days of admission increased 7% (link)

Now take a sec and Imagine Indian Government hospitals and calculate your survival probability

What i was doing on abstruse goose: well, i was just working in office.

And what about Medical Journal: That was some serious fun.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

When Hari meet Silly

'First Love' – the name itself sounds so beautiful. They say, you never forget your first love. They say it’s one of the best feeling in your life.

I was not sure because I was 5 year old. I didn’t know much about the pehle pyar ka ahsaas but it was surely different.

1992- summer vacation

I went to Jaipur. My aunt was there. Now they introduced me to some of the mohalle wale bache to keep me busy from bugging them. There I saw her for the first time. I played with her, I talked with her, I ate with her and I knew there was some connection between us. I don’t know any time in my life when 4 days passed so instantaneously.

I went to the market and got a pair of earring for her. My first gift to anyone on this goddamn earth (I was an expert back thenJ). She gave me a pencil sharpener having a shape of dinosaur or cartoon something.I came back and I kept that sharpener in my showcase for 3 years and as time passes by memories fade away.

1999 – Brother marriage

It was one of the most anticipated marriage I attended in my life. I reached jaipur again and try looking out for her. 7 years do a lot to your look, your physique. Mine looks got deteriorated, 27ml oil in hair everyday ensured black shining chipke hue baal but height was the same. I didn’t know about her. I scanned all the people and I was having doubt on 2 girls but didn’t have the guts to ask.

Day1 passed - No result

Day 2 passed - ZUKK!!

It was final last day. Last 8 hours in jaipur. Luckily destiny played its role again. One of my cousin introduced her to me. I asked if she remember me and she said ‘yes’. (In my mind: do you take pratik….’Yes’!!).

It was a long night. We spend the whole night together talking about everything what a grade 7 student know. (Damn! I knew so much less that time). It was farewell time. We said goodbye to each other. exchanged Postal Addresses.

2000 – My birthday

I received a card. Card saying happy birthday by spray painting. One of the most beautiful gift I ever received. I decided to send a thanks card. I learned spray painting and returned the favor in the exact same way.

2007 – Summers

My Brother got transferred from Jaipur to Hyderabad. He came to kota and we met. He told me that she is in Hyderabad now. She has become air hostess now. I thought I am doing graduation from IIT as well. Not bad a pair. (Still the Height was same) I was looking for an excuse to talk to her somehow. Suddenly my brother cell phone ringed and it was her call. I grabbed the cell from him and this time we talked for 2 hours straight. She was steward in Hyderabad-Chennai flight. I was studying in IIT Chennai. We decided to meet sometime in Chennai.

I was damn sure that she was ‘The one’ for me. Destiny is playing its role. ‘Aur Pratik ne pyar ke sunahre sapne sanjoye’

But it was me. Everything going normal doesn't seems normal to me.

I lost my cell while coming back to Chennai, so the number.

That Hyderabad Chennai Flight never came to Chennai and the Dream meeting remained a dream.

1 year later( 2008)

My brother called me .

Bro - hey wassup?

me - nothing much. Same ol' life.

Bro - Let me add some spice to it.

Me - Sure. Shoot

Bro - You remember her?

Me - oh yeah...that one. I remember ( yes yes yes bro, i do remember)

Bro- so take a good news. She is getting married in2 months.

Me - Oh really!! good for her. ( crying, crying out loud......)

Bro (cunningly) - you dont sound happy.

Me - Its just that your spice was quite a lot spicy for me.

Last week (2009)

I again got the call from my Brother.

Bro - hey wassup?

me - nothing much. Same ol' life.

Bro - Let me add some spice to it.

Me - No, not this time. Last time it was too much for me.

Bro- okay, then a good news.

Me - Sure, that sounds cool.

Bro- you are uncle now. She gave birth to a girl last week.

Me - Oh really!! good for her ( &*^^&& )

Anyways this is the story of my 18 year long love story. and SO NOW I KNOW – ‘YES, YOU NEVER FORGET YOUR FIRST LOVE’

PS: God bless her!!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Campus Placement Preparation Tips

This is part II of my promise which I am posting now. Placement preparation is the most important thing if you want to get placed in first few days. Many of us ignore this but I realized during the course of my placement that every single thing you prepare matters and the only thing which matters least is your CG. Lets go topic wise:

Company test: This is the most important part as 50-60% companies are open for all and they take aptitude test to shortlist the students. The best thing is to prepare for for cat seriously. In every college 30-40% people prepare seriously for cat and these pool of people keep getting short-listed again and again. So it’s better to be in the pool. All your preparation, interns, resumes, CG is a waste if you are not getting short- listed. So I will suggest start preparing for cat or atleast start giving some practice cat test to brush up your concept and increase your speed.

Resume: It took me 2-3 months to prepare my resume. Keep following points in mind:
1)Prepare 2 types of resume. 1 Tech oriented and other for general firms. Tech resume can be of 2 page with a greater description of departmental projects. But the general resume should not exceed 1 page.
2)Fill the space completely. Its either 1 page or 2 page. There is nothing like 1.5 pages.
3)See the resume in print format and 80% space of the page should be filled.
4)Once you are done with resume ,send it to your seniors and friends for editing and make necessary changes.
5)While describing your interns, projects, extra-curricular follow the order – Aim( what was given to you), your efforts( what you did for that/ what you learned and applied) Result ( what was the final outcome and its result on the company or in your festival) Example: I was given the responsibility of……I learned and applied……The final result was ……
6)Avoid objective, interest, hobbies…these are very generic. Try to save as much space as you can for relevant things.
7)You should be very sure and comfortable with all the things you are mentioning in the resume because all your interview is going to go around your resume only.
My resumes for references:
Resume for general firms- 1 page format
Resume for core firms- 2 page format

Interview: the best and the only way to do this is to make an excel sheet like this and fill your answers. Send it for editing and mug it completely. Its better not to trust that spontaneous answers look more real. Mug the pre-written answers and try to deliver them as if they are spontaneous. Speak in front of mirror, or ask your friend take your mock interview.

GD: get a group of good friend s who are seriously preparing for interview. Pick any random topic. There are many GD Topics on net. Try to have practice GD among yourself. The rules of GD are: speak more, try to dominate the discussion but don’t get aggressive with your body language. You should look cool but try to grab the most of the speaking times. Good points do matter but not much. The only thing I felt that matters is your cumulative speaking times.

Technical knowledge: Contact your seniors who have got placed in the companies you are targeting and ask them about the areas in which the respective companies were interested and start preparing on the same line.

The preparation is endless but the most important thing is not to loose focus and keep preparing constantly. So All the best guys!! May You score your respective Dream jobs.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Cat Prep Tips

I promised someone that I will blog about this issue long time back and finally I was reminded again so here I am, fulfilling my promise. I will start off with my scores and preparation. I prepared seriously for 5 months, joined couple of test series and attempted the material of TIME and CL. I scored 44 in quant, 46 in DI and 28 in verbal with the percentile 97.5(something). It was disappointing but I learned a lot of things about cat preparation which I want to share. First I will go by small things which we generally miss or we don’t focus

The most important thing is time management. You should have a definite strategy for 150 mins. I tried 40-40-40-30 and 45-45-45-15 where first 3 entries is the time given to individual subject and the last entry being the time left for going over to the not attempted questions. This is very important to figure out that which time distribution maximizes your score. And even more important is the determination to change the section when the time is over. I have seen people dwelling over a particular section for 60-80 mins.I will suggest, experiment the distributions for 3-4 test and then decide which one suit you best.

The second most important thing is the order of section. I used to attempt quant first because I was able to attempt decent number of questions in it and it gives me confidence, followed by verbal and then DI because I was good in DI and in last if time gets crunch, I was sure that I can wrap up the things in 30 mins also. Again try various orders for few tests and then fix an order and stick to it.

Now let me go subject wise:

Quant: The best way is to practice more. Practice and read the solution for the questions you didn’t get. It’s very important that you keep noting the good shortcuts and smart formulas in some notebook and mug them properly. This will give you atleast 2 additional questions in final exams.

DI: The smartest way to prepare for DI is to solve 10 years cat paper. There are very limited set of questions in DI. Let’s say 50. If you are through with the 10 years exam papers you will cover like 30-35 types and rest you can learn while you give test and prepare at room. Trust me this is the best way and you will see instantaneous improvement but just keep in mind to read the solution of not attempted/ wrong questions and learn the trick behind them.

English: to be very true I don’t have much of an idea how to improve this. The only thing I knew is you should be able to solve a comprehension in 6 mins and try both the way of solving comprehension i.e. reading passage first and questions later and vice versa. For me reading questions first and passage later was more helpful because in that way I can look for the required answers and keep marking them as I read. I will suggest you this wordlist to mug completely. This is the most comprehensive wordlist I go through. Just 800 words and trust me it covers like 70-80% of the cat words.

About the material: I found the CL material to be best but the TIME provided me with sample test in last moments which were also quite useful. Practice from CL, Practice room test from TIME. There are many things which you should kept in mind while preparing for Cat. Cat is not about hard work, it’s about smart work.

Friday, August 28, 2009

The 'H' factor

Everybody has their unique criteria to begin to hunt for girl. For some it’s the fair colour, for some it’s the vital stats but for me it’s the ‘H-Factor

Yes, the H factor. A for apple and H for height.

They say- 'you get some, you lose some'. I got extra 7-8 pounds, extremely deteriorated sense of humor , extra pair of eyes (specs) and in return I lost 1 foot of my height. I guess i have gained more...rite?

But this H factor has played a vital role throughout my life.

During the school days, in the assembly, queue was formed based on the ascending height order. I used to be the second in the queue from front. Yes! People shorter than me used to exist in those days. Abhishek was there at the first place. Sadly, last time I met him, he was looking down and I was looking up while talking.

Anyways, back in the fifth grade I used to feel proud to lead the assembly queue. Later in the time when hormonal changes occur, hair comes out from all parts of the body and u feel the sensation of pehla pyar pehli pehli baar – it was then I realized that being a leader in the queue is the most stupid thing. People at the back side have the advantage of talking, chatting. But what u gets for being in the front is standing in the attention position for fucking 30 mins in the temp of 45-48 degrees.

The additional advantage for shorter dudes like me was that in our school sitting arrangement was based on height for some duration in some grade. I am not sure of exact figure. Now I used to fall in the average gals height in those days. (Now, I am below average in this category too). So it was the rainy days of my life. The days which every (normal) dude dreams about. Girls all around with only me and Abhishek in the middle and that too when Abhishek was not much of a competition. Yes! I was the prince back then. (Alas, gone are the days! Fuck JEE, Fuck life)

I was proud of my below average height. What to shame about it- (Sir) Sachin is not tall. I used to compare myself with Sachin but later I realize I was the VRV Singh in the talent. And when you have the talent of that level, you ought to have height. But Alas, again.

I used to measure myself on the wall of my house. In my 10th grade I put a mark there and this summer after my graduation, I went home only to find that I am still marking the same height. WTF?

The only advantage which I have still enjoyed till now and hope to enjoy for the coming whole life is instant recognizability.

Gal X: Hey you know that guy from our batch?

Gal Y: Which one?

Gal X: The little guy. The smaller one which looks quite short.

Gal Y (smiling): Yeah, I remember. What about him?

Gal X: He is so hot na! I have a crush on him. [Oh okay, that’s me. Dreaming again.]

My mom used to console me that "don’t worry, there are chances for the height to increase till the age of 21."

21st birthday came and gone.

22 also came and now it’s the turn for 23.

I trust you mama and I am still waiting.

Friday, August 21, 2009

To where I Belong

I belong to a culture where Hostel spirit was everything. People were ready to die and kill for it. It was the pride, it was the reason and it was everything we had back in those days.

Still it’s the same in the jobs except hostels has been replaced by departments or IIT-M/D/B.

To be very true I never understood the concept of groups. During my school days we used to have section wise groups. Then there was internal division in the class which was based on the row u were sitting. Outside the school it was all about DAV/Modern/Modi…etc

In my colony there is a park and division was based on the side of park u live. Then it was inter-colony distribution. If that was not enough, there was inter-municipal ward rivalry thing.

In my college as I have already told it was hostel-branch-IIT madras thing.

In life it’s about north India- State-city wise distribution.

We distinguish on the basis of caste-region-language-complexion-religion and I think the next level will be the dick size.

Seriously just think about it. Then will be the days when blacks will rule. The long oppressed group will rise to the new height of dominance. Sadly the Asians will always be looked down except the situations which the dumb leaders like Bush will create in which our normal growing economy will look shinning like a bright star.

The only thing I concluded that we are all animals with an evolved brain and modified anatomy. We need groups to feel secure. We always keep searching for an identity which can make us most powerful. We keep forming and changing groups.

This day I again feel proud of the terrorist group. Such a large organization with so much regional-lingual diversity is fighting for the common aim. They trust their group. They don’t shift between things. They do whatever needed to be done for group.

I wish if we could learn something from them.

Friday, August 14, 2009

How to get a perfect child in 10 Simple steps

Train journeys have given me so much and especially when they are of 36 hours (Kota – Chennai), the deliverables increases in the same proportion. These long journeys have given me fever, food poisoning and tones of sweat but all that negligible in front of the numerous friends I made and memorable moments I savored.

Once during my second year, I was going back home and we have 2 confirm tickets and 4 people traveling. So it was like 3 people were sharing the side lower seat while 1 person sleeps on the side upper and it goes in order.

Now in our same compartment we have an old dude (quite lean, but awesome hair style and glittering eyes or simply you can imagine the description of Dumbledore). There was this young guy (read ‘chutiya’) who was assisting him. Now this old dude was the head of some youth development orientation program. Or I guess it was just one more shit association which people opens up to satisfy their desire to put fundaes and get funds, after retirement.

Anyways it was quite normal. Old dude manages to pull quite a lot people and the same old crap of westernisation of society, demoralized and uninspired youth were going on. But the good thing was, we the IITians were already enlightened and none of us decided to be a part of this

Later, my turn to sleep came and I acquired the prized birth and started snoring soon enough. After like 2-3 hours, I woke up just to find that the old dude has grasped all the IITians into his claws. And for that he has used the most intelligent tool. The thing which attracts IITians the most – 'SEX'.

I tried to put my ear into the conversation. Our old dude seems to be an expert in this topic. He has explored it all and now he has researched and came out with a perfect timing for sex. According to him for the perfect child the fertilization should be done between 1:30 AM– 1:45 AM.And he has theory of positioning of moon and wind to justify it also.

Now if you think about it sincerely, any idea how you are going to do it?

I prepared a detailed algorithm to give birth to perfect child and here it is:

S-1: Don’t shag or have sex or have sex for 7 days. Save the best swimmers for the main event.

S2: Decide an appropriate night after discussing with your partner.

S3: On the D-day prepare yourself for the D-night. Talk to yourself, get mentally prepared. Have some food with lots of calories.

S4: sleep early. Put an alarm of about 1 AM. Wake up and brush your teeth and have a bath. C’mon man , you are going to be father. You will be the role model for him/her.

S5: Start the foreplay at sharp 1:15.

S6: Move to lower base at 1:27

S7: Start the intercourse at 1:32

S8: Climax at 1:40

S9: Start praying.

S10: if it ain't work go to S1 and practice harder.

Now I know why we say 'practice makes a man perfect'. Its the practice of parents that made the child( going to be man/woman in future) perfect. [:P]

In the end, getting a perfect child is not so difficult. Isn’t it??

Friday, August 7, 2009

Movie request app

Have you ever experience the shame , the embarrassment when some girl refuses right on your face when you ask her out. I am sure its in our destiny.

But a great idea strikes my mind this morning. If we can have friend request, why can’t we have movie request or say coffee request or even dinner request.

Seriously guys, it takes a lot of courage to ask someone out and then you need some more courage to prepare yourself for the 99% sure answer – ‘NO’

You see this request app thing will make the life so easy. What you have to do is just go to the profile, click ‘Will you go to movie request’ and leave it. Come back after some time. If its ‘yes’ then fine otherwise Tera Patrick is always at our service.

Moreover, it will save us from the embarrassment we face when we get the refusal.

It’s also great for girls. Now they don’t have to justify their answer everytime whenever they say ‘No’. It’s really tough for them also when every other guy is asking them for it. So just click the button ‘NO’ whenever such request comes and you can chill peacefully.

I am really amazed why nobody hasn’t got this idea till now.

I have seriously started believing that I am from future stuck in this 21st century due to some time machine crash or I have been send back in time for some great purpose.

But as I always say – ‘Lets See’


Last night I was having dinner with my friends and one of them told me that she wants to write a book on drug addicts. We discussed it for a while and later while coming back to my place I realized that it’s a brilliant and one of the toughest jobs.

I came back to my room, changed and jump on to my ongoing TV series- Dexter. Now for all those who don’t know about dexter, it’s a Tv series featuring a serial killer. He was taught by his father, only to kill those who have escaped the traditional legal system or were never suspected in the first place. {wikied}

Anyways I switch on the show and in the middle of that show there is a scene where a character defines the mental state of addicted. It was a really beautiful description or as I find so. Hence I decided to share…here it is:

I could possibly feel that need.

Like a thousand hiding voices whispering,

"This is who you are. ..…"

And you fight the pressure,

The growing need rising like a wave,

Prickling and teasing and prodding to be fed.

But the whispering gets louder

Until it's screaming, "now!"

And it's the only voice you hear...

the only voice you want to hear….

And you belong to it,

To this... shadow self.

To this... …..dark passenger.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Changing Time

I was a firm believer of god. Then I lost my faith and with due time I regained it but in quite different form. I don’t go to temple, I don’t pray but I trust God. I started accepting what all happens in my life without any fight or reasoning. I trusted that whatever happens, happens for the best. May be it’s just another compromise with life and I am naming it as faith.

So whatever it is, lately I am started having all the doubts again. I have started reasoning the purpose behind every event. Life is so peaceful when you believe someone controlling your life for good. But it becomes really complex when it goes other way round. So I guess this part is going to be there in my life for sometime now.

I had my convocation done this Friday. I am officially a B.Tech engineer from IIT Madras. But this event made me realize one thing.

Till now I was telling myself that things will be more or less same. All of my friends will be nearby and we will be in constant touch. But convo made me realize that life will take a different course now. I don’t know whether it will be good or it will be bad, but it will be different for sure. Anshul is in Mumbai, Sajal’s location is still unidentified, ravi is in Bang, sumedh is between IIT and Banglore, Satyan took the fight to Amsterdam, Ashutosh joined the family business and Phani will be in 4 continents in next 2 years.

I guess this transition is getting into my head. I need some more time to figure out what I want in my life. Till then 'Beroe-zgaar' it is.

PS: Beroe is the name of my company i am working.