Thursday, March 26, 2009

Swearing maestros

As i told you that i was a beginner in the field of swearing but i met some people who already got masters in this field.It was the company of these people which helped me grow personally in this field. These people have done extensive and unique research in this field. Few to mention:

Sumedh: One of the most innovative mind in this field. He came up with a concept of hindi + English mix swearing words. The best of which is betifuck.

Sajal: He concentrated his research on 1 particular swear and tried to test various pronunciation and their effect on the people. Finally he came up with the best pronunciation of the words like ‘B0***di ke

Anshul: This person hail from the most backward town on earth so he introduced the lost old regional culture into this field. His specialty is very simple yet effective words like ‘Kutte ke pille

Rajat: He introduced the concept of the words half left like ‘ Madar...’. This was a unique approach since it didn’t hurt the other person and also conveys your feeling

Anyways I have been quite lucky living my life along with all these experts. I am right now just copying these people , but I am still hoping that I will be like them someday.


‘Swearing’ : Select; Right click; wordweb definition; ctrl C ; ctrl V

1.Profane or obscene expression usually of surprise or anger
2.A commitment to tell the truth (especially in a court of law); to lie under oath is to become subject to prosecution for perjury

Now I don’t agree with any of the definition completely. If you mix them both A commitment to tell the truth with Profane or obscene expression usually of surprise or anger. Now this sounds perfect.

I never used to swear till my eight grade. I used to think of a god forbidden thing and I used to feel very proud of this thing as I used to give me the feel of best son my parents can have; best person living on the earth and it fulfills the false notion that swearing is not for civilized people.

Now the story changed in eighth grade. One new guy ‘gaurav Gupta’ entered in my class. Height: 5 feet 6 inch. [ I was the same height as I am now :) ]. Weight more than 70 kg for sure. He used to teased me a lot. I tried not to pay attention. But slowly he entered into my gang and convince everybody to swear against me.

I kept my patience for as long as I can. Then 1 final day, I stand my ground and started swearing every god damn word I know: kutte, kamine, suar (pig) and blah blah….when I finished I realized I needed more than swearing to stand my ground against him. He was get up from his bench and started moving towards me.

God knows I peed a Little. I thought this is the end. I made my last wish too.

He came near to me, raised his hand , I closed my eyes because it was unbearable for me, then I felt his hand on my head. I thought this fucker chose the right part to kill me. I closed my eyes as tightly as I can.

Then I heard people around laughing. I thought I am in hell and demons are laughing. I opened my eyes a little. I was still in the classroom. I realized my end will take some more time.

I heard people saying : ‘ Gupta (my nick at that time), that’s it, you know this much. Okay let me teach you some more. But anywyas that was a nice effort man.” So in this way my swearing 101 lectures started and finally I managed to get a bachelor degree in swearing finally as i am completing my college.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Toast to deepak mathur.[CE05B008]

let me tell you a amusing story about two people.

It’s about Mr. D and Mr. V. it dates back to the year 1998 something. Mr. d saw Mr. V in school. It was the love at first sight. But as in all cases, both of them were reluctant to say its relationship.

They put the tag friendship on it. The things start flourishing between them. Both of them have nothing in common but as it goes love is blind. So it was. They decided the same career path. Both joined the same coaching institute Resonance.

They used to share everything. From books to notes, from vehicles sharing to knowledge sharing. They were inseparable. Now Mr V was my good friend in those times and that when I got the chance to see this beautiful relationship.

Both D and V has their share of differences but nothing came between them. V got selected in JEE in 2004 and came to IIT madras. The long distance was not able to do anything. But it made Mr. D more committed to clear JEE which he finally did in 2005 and guess what came to IIT madras.

Hostels were different, branches were different, years were different but as I say nothing can…..anyways I have seen them sitting in the sangam ground, in front of mess holding each other hand, at gurunath, sitting beneath the dark sky, looking into each other eyes, sharing the lives and thoughts together. Madras gave them the confidence to come openly about their ‘Friendship’.

I sincerely wish them happy life ever after. Here I toast to the most amazing ‘Friendship’ I have ever seen. [:)]

PS: V is Vivek Nigam. An alma Mater of IIt madras, narmada hostel, Chemical Branch, 2008 passout.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Visual DNA

I changed the way my blog looks. Or I must say I tried to do so. I am still not satisfied but that’s for all now. I will try to focus later on it.

I also took the Visual DNA test again. The result it showed was Wild cat. What a fucking Gay analysis and that too after getting the Gender tab filled from me.

Yeah I am sure I put male in that.

Such analysis sucks. They should have told me dog/horse/tiger or even pig. But wtf is cat. There is only 1 gender in cat and ie Female. Anyways i have applied the Script in Blog.

The Taliban’s/ Al Qaeda’s sociology/economics

I have got this very good friend. Lately he has got insane and started talking about weird thoughts. Last evening he told me that he want to go on a hunting trip in a jungle where instead of people, it will be Gults (Andhraites….sorry guys! It’s his views). Then this led to the topic on terrorism and I told him that I want to do a 3 months intern in one of the most famous/profitable/globalized group that exist today ie Taliban.

I want to see what all these people do?

How they do?

Why they do?

I want to study the group’s culture/ economics. We discussed it for a long time. Here some points of discussions:

1. They surely play Live Counter strike and at the end of the Day person with the Maximum count is given the ‘Man of the day’ award. The count is like:
General person – 1 point
Indian – 2 Point
American/ British – 3 point
Cricketer/Politician – 5 points

2. They will catch one person and cut his hand. Make a video and upload on youtube. The person whose links get the maximum hits is the winner.

3. The expert of the bombing devices is called geek/nerd.

4. They fantasize about killing barrack Obama/ Sangkara etc during their best of the dreams.

5. Its such a big organized established working group. Let’s invite them for placements in IIT. They will surely pay better than Fucking Mu-Sigma (3.3 Lpa)

6. I am planning to apply as a financial advisor for the group in future. My aim will be to make this group Public limited.

Anyways I am seriously amazed by the management running such a group. These people should be called in IIMs to give lectures. My idea is give them a public recognition and trust me guys they will not do anything close to terrorism. A person is most afraid of loosing his public image. This is the greatest fear. Let’s put this into them.

Vicious Circle

I am feeling quite desperate today for writing some new posts. I am not sure about the reason , whether it’s some new blogs which I come across today or it’s the new visitor counter which I have put up on my site.

I got this new counter from Sumedh aka Hugga (thanks dude!). This shows profile views with the mention of different countries. It’s kinda psued. So nowadays I am little desperate to keep the ticker moving.

I also come across new blogs


These blogs have got some really good posts which challenged my imperfect shit level blogging skills but I can’t help it. I am born with this competitive feeling. Its like “ Teri shirt meri shirt se jyada safed (white) kaise ??

lately I have started mugging for CFA (chartere financial analyst). Its an certification course with a fucking price tag of 1100$ and for exam you have to go kathmandu/Colombo/Karachi/Singapore. So due to this huge financial price, its quite compelling situation for me to clear this exam. And moreover the books weighs more than fucking 10 kgs.

I have got this acute chootness that whenever I get such kind of responsibility then I get tensed. I feel guilty for wasting my time in movies/sitcoms/ Rise of nation/ newspaper/ novel/ BLOGGING. Whenever I do such things I feel guilty and I am not able to enjoy that. So I start back with my books and then I am not able to concentrate in studying also since I am desperate for my unfulfilled entertainment needs. Its kind of vicious circle. During JEE days it was easy since the entertainment sources were very limited but now being in final year/ IIT/ Civil branch, the scope has much widened. I hope I will figure out something because 1100$ will make me do it. [:)]

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Insti Dating Guide

I was discussing and putting some fundaes to my friend about the places , where he can take his gf in institute. Then I realized I have explored this campus a little more and in a little better way then most of the people so I decided to share the knowledge with my fellow mates. So these are some of the places where you can take your female partner and enjoy some good time.

1.Stadium: the most obvious and the most popular place to hang out (but only with female friends). This is the most awesome place in night to sit and talk. You can see the clear sky and stars, a perfect atmosphere to discuss personal issues. The only pain is security guard make a round and they will hush you. So to avoid this try sitting in the grass in the other corner of stadium and avoid the stairs.

2.Playground Avenue: the road between the playground avenue and acad block is the prefect night walk road. Complete route: playground avenue road > BT department road > straight ahead > MDS road > aero department road > nandini > followed by hospital and workshop path > GC. This complete road is covered with trees and generally remain free from people. [:)]

3.GC to Main gate: this is also oe of the most popular night wak road though I never liked it. Its painful to go 2.8 km to and fro. It gets the hell out of you. So if you have stamina ,try this path.

4.Vanavani school: there is branch of vanavani just infront of it , it’s a kids school. Now this sound weird but believe me this is the best place to hang out in night. Reason: benches are there to sit, no security guard issue, complete freedom to make out. [:)] . The only risk is when you have to jump the locked gate but after you are done this is the best place.

5.KV ground: it’s a good place during the evening tilll 11 pm because after security guard start making rounds. This place has benches around trees but they don’t have back support so its quite tiresome to sit there and talk. But yeah a good lonely place far from people.

6.Library: this is the favourite place for first years but seniors can also give it a try. Level 3 has a special section with cubicles. It’s a good place during the hot sunny day. It’s less private but better than sitting at the back gate of sharav.

7.Cs department Scholars room: this is one of the most unexplored place. It’s a room with lots of chairs and table and the best thing is its open 24 hours , I mean the whole night. The way is : BSB > take life > go to 2nd floor > take a left turm > enter into CS department > take a right > go straight. You will find the place. Most of the time you will find the room locked but if you just hold one gate and push other it will open. And yeah remember to take some books with you while going there.

8.Workshop roof: this is a risky place to go but one of the best places I have ever seen. There is ladder going to roof which you will find when you towards nandini from the road going straight from BSB. Just look for security guard and once you are above, it’s a nice thrilling experience.

9.BT department roof: I haven explored this place but I have heard its also awesome sitting on 7th floor roof top. Try it on your own risk.

10.the road behind aero department : this is the most horrific , most thrilling road. Lots of security breaches will lead you there but once you are there , you will experience the most thrilling experience of your life. Recommended for the daring dates.

11.Benches : these are list of some of the benches in the Insti where you can sit and talk peacefully : sangam ground, between post office and Vanavani and in front of BT department.

Disclaimer : the person should go at its own risk. The writer is not inspiring you to explore but sharing his knowledge. The person will be solely responsible for his action by himself.

PS: there are tonnes of mosquitoes at these places so preferably take odomos with you [:)]

Friday, March 13, 2009

Sachin fanaticism

Its 2.00 clock in night and I have just finished watching sachin 5 innings back to back. CB series final I & II, Sharjah Final 1998, Sharjah Qualifier match 1998 and the latest one 163 off 133 balls.

Believe me, there is nothing better than watching sachin play. I have tried everything and I literally mean everything in my life and trust me, nothing is anywhere close to it. Any day I will choose watching sachin over sex, dope, movie, music, fart …..

I believe this cricket + sachin fanaticsm is in my blood. My dad is the biggest sachin fan in the world I have ever seen. So many times I have seen him bunking office. Every time sachin hits century, my dad calls me and we congratulate each other, discuss the inning and update our statistics. I used to have a graffiti notebook completely dedicated to sachin. After I came to IIT, the notebook is still updated and the task has being done by my dad.

Its not only my dad, my whole family is crazy for cricket. I have got cousins who had broken their bed by jumping after India – Pakistan world cup 1996 match. Even all my uncle, aunts and infact my grandfather is a big cricket fan. I still have the fond memories of the day when none of our family members were allowed to move from their positions when sachin is batting or the match is in crucial stage. I remember one incident when India- SA match were going and it was in very crucial stage and my uncle came to out place for watching the final over. But since nobody was allowed to move he stood outside from complete last 5 overs. Though we were shouting and giving him the updates regularly but none of us dared to leave our places.

I really miss those days watching cricket with the whole family in one room. But anyways I am thankful to god that I am in the company of the same intense fans of cricket over here in IIT. All my friends, we bunk classes, miss grub, miss the afternoon nap or any damn thing and watch cricket. I have spend countless nights with my friends discussing/ googling/ wiking sachin statistics.

But lately I am loosing my interest in cricket and its just sachin which interests me. I hope things will change and I will start enjoying the whole match again.

PS: I bunked my school for the first time in Seventh grade after lunch hours just to watch sachin completing his century. I still remember he got out somewhere in 80’s. Damn!! Infact Double Damn!!