Engineerism aka Fundaism

I am an engineer. A proud member of the community who has been responsible for changing the world, for many centuries now. We are known for our skills like quantitative aptitude, quick learning ability and innovative imagination. But let me tell you a truth today.

We are something bigger than that. Much bigger. We might be missing the basic engineering skills but we are all equipped with a special talent. A talent to listen to things, remembering them and producing them elsewhere in a completely different format. But in a way that it completely fits the discussion and changes the course of it to our favor. We are always searching for people who are doing discussions and when we find them, we never take more than a minute to engulf them in our fundaes. Fundaes which sounds so logical, so original that all these naïve souls are forced to bow down before us and follow us. And the best part is that you never realize that those fundaes had nothing to do with the original discussion.

But the most important part in this process is the way we build these fundaes. We meet different people, we listen to them, we remember what they say and produce them whenever we find ourselves amongst a discussion of which we don’t have a clue about. We generously impart our Gyaan.

Aakhir gyaan aur santaan, baantne se badhte hain.

Let me share an incident of my life to bring more clarity about my thoughts.

I met one of my philosopher friends. He has this bloody interest in theories which try to predict the reason for present situation of society and etc etc. He told me that Greed is the most notable threat to Indian society. This feeling of human beings will be the cause of extinction of humankind from the face of the earth.

Then there is this other friend – “king of weird facts”. These are the kind of people who have a fondness for collecting the most random information of the planet and spreading it generously. He was the one who told me that ‘Threesome’ tops the list of ‘World’s Top 10 Sexual Fantasies’’.

I have one kinky friend too. These are the people who are the porn god of any engineering campus. They are responsible for downloading the maximum stuff and distributing them via LAN. So constant exposure to such erotic and sensual stuff magnifies their imagination level and then can have anyone they want in their dreams to share the bed with. He told me that his biggest fantasy is to share the bed with Katrina Kaif and Priyanka Chopra.

So I collect all the above three points, document them in my mental database and I am good to go.

Quite some time back, couple of my colleagues were discussing about the IPL- Afridi fiasco which was a recent event at that time. I was not much aware of the things going around but I was clearly able to get that Pak players are furious over being not invited. I was thinking of the ways to chip in and consume the naïve souls infront of me.

I started by putting the argument that – see,All this IPL fiasco is just because of the greed of Pakistani player for IPL money and IPL playing experience. Humans are a very greedy species. This greed has been responsible for all the problems we have in our society (Putting larger than life picture solidifies your argument). I told them, that we humans are so greedy that ‘Threesome’ tops the list of ‘World’s Top 10 Sexual Fantasies’ because there are two women involved. More than one woman. So you can see the greed (Now, nobody interferes the discussion with the word threesome making rounds in it). If you can have Katrina Kaif and Priyanka Chopra in the threesome scene, what can be better than that (Last nail in the coffin. No one likes to discuss IPL or Afridi or even RGV after imagining the two most beautiful women in bed together.)

Next 30 mins we were discussing about ‘Pyaar Impossible’ of which, btw yours truly was the master. So you see I came, I spoke and I conquered. This is what we are capable of. Joining the discussion without even knowing anything about it and shifting gears to our favour.