Dating Guide 2 : The Bitter Better first dates

So Guys, It’s the D day. Date-Day.

You dress up in one of the very few finest pair of clothes you have. But before wearing them you make your way to the nearest neighbour with an excuse to use his Deo, just to let him know that you are going on a date. Finest and funkiest pair of sneakers are chosen and stolen from outside the room of a Freshie. And you are up and ready to go.

You reach at the pre-decided place at the exact time only to wait for a good thirty minutes before the lady arrives with an excuse of either traffic or of dropping some friend off in the way. You enter the restaurant and use all the tips and tricks you have gathered through Bond movies and TV series to look awesome.

The real fun starts when you take a table and the conversation begins. It always begins with what you do in life besides studies. (Who cares for what you study anyway!) So if the answer has keywords like ‘SRK movies’, ‘Chetan Bhagat,’jogging’, ‘world peace’, ‘A Walk to Remember’ or ‘mom-dad’ – it’s time to get cautious. This is your first red signal. And it's also an indicator that all your years of wiki knowledge, tons of hours spent on classic cinema, statistics of cricket and histories of metal bands, memorized back and forth, are being dumped into a dustbin. That too, a dustbin with a shredder. Neither acquired knowledge nor previous information has any scope, in the future, with this girl.

But still the situation is under control. All this initial damage has created, is, a few moments of awkward silence and nothing all. Now you change the course of discussion to life in college. Keywords to be warned of here – sleep, boring, mom-dad.

But still there is a chance to salvage this date. You start with your life and how you got caught ‘smoked up’ in an exam and saved yourself with sheer awesomeness. If the reply is, “Really???”, then you are saved. But if the reply is, “I hate smoking”, then you are…

Gone.

Dead.

Killed.

By the time food arrives you are sure that all the over-expensive French and Italian food items you ordered, whose name you memorized last night, are complete waste. Now all that is left is to save a few bucks. But the motherfucker Waiter always wait for this opportunity, when he sees two people on a date, to recite all the things in the menu – soup, starters, deserts , mock tail, cocktail , etc. That is when you pray in your heart that the Girl does not fall into the trap and order something.

But other than this the major issue is to pass the time between soup and main course and desert. You try to message some random guy, read some forwards to lighten up the mood, talk about the weather, future plans, blah blah blah…

The only savior in these conditions is 'good waxed legs'. They can be of anyone's. Either the girl you are with or the girl sitting right across to you or even the girl passing by the road visible from the window. Those are the only things which will be your whole and sole entertainment. But if you have lived in the great city of Chennai – you are

Gone.

Dead.

Killed.

Now it’s time for goodbye. You are happy. She is happy. You promise each other to catch up soon only to turn around and swear never to see each other. And that brings an end to this great date Saga.

Only to get started all over again in a couple of weeks because We all love to date. Don’t we???