Dating Guide : The Bitter Better first dates

Boring dates. Yes, we all have been victims on that front at least once in our lives. There can be infinite reasons behind why a date turned out to be boring... like a disastrous laugh or a horrendous voice or an acute lack of ability to understand Kalmadi jokes. But let’s stick to the statement – "It just didn't click". It's really interesting (am I being a sadist?) to see expectations getting shattered, dreams getting crushed. And yet, what the hell. We all love to date.

But let us focus first on the buildup that it takes until the bomb drops. First you manage to get yourself fixed for a date, and being a student of an engineering college -- that too an IIT, where the sex ratio has been rounded off to zero for a better approximation since the inception of these prestigious institutes -- is sufficient to make you feel like the king of the planet. You spend some nights imagining how the date will be. And how then it will turn into a long walk along the beach. And then how the CCD’s caffeine will play its role along with the stimulation of the forest reserve , which the IIT shows off, to get you an awesomely-ever-dreamed-make-out. Oh, at this point let me tell you – imagination is all we have. 'We', as in the engineers' army. As rightly said by a great scholar, "They can take our grades, they can take our LAN, they can close the gates at 11, but they can't take our imagination". So coming back to the point -- you imagine and you do all your stuff enjoying that imagination till reality hits you.

On the out-of-the-room front -- it’s time to brag. You go to the room of the nearest friend -- or to that of a friend like Anshul, if you have one, that is. But the trick is that you don’t blabber it out. You wait for the right moment, when the friend will ask you questions related to your life and you will proudly declare yourself as the date-winner, and will go through the entire process in a very casual manner, as if it’s regular stuff for you.

But no son-of-a-bitch friend will ask you anything.

Me: So what’s the plan for tomorrow? Doing anything?

Friend: Nah, regular stuff.

(Damn it, at least a courtesy of “What about you?” would have been appreciated!)

Me: I might not be attending the concrete class tomorrow.

Friend: Okay.

(That was a lame attempt. As if he cares.

Now this is the masterpiece – strike where it matters to him)

Me: Dude, can I take you bicycle? I have to go to the main gate.

Friend: Why do you need to go to the main gate?

(buzzinga!!)

So now, after all of them know about the date stuff, an all-son-of-the-bitches'-council meeting is called. The only purpose of this meeting is to prove that your over-exaggerated description of the girl is just a sham. For the starters – the FB/orkut profile is opened and searched. The scrutiny done then is far more intense then what any company does during placements. From 'about me' to 'statuses' to the 'likes' to the 'groups', and most importantly, the pics are put under heavy-duty scanner. Any small thing -- a like on a Kalmadi speech video or a Justing Beiber video on her profile -- and you are mocked all through the night to prove that you are a loser going on a date with this girl. But steel-minded as you are, you always believe these are just a bunch of jealous guys.

And then the day of the date comes. (...to be continued)