Thursday, November 3, 2011

The awkward silence

(Please Note: If you do not have a sense of political incorrectness or silliness, or lack the potential to poke fun at gender bias or are completely incapable of understanding satire, this blog is not for you!)

Do you have a girl who says you are her friend? If ‘yes’ please proceed ahead.

Do you know what level of a friend you are to her? If ‘No’ please proceed ahead. If ‘Yes’ I am suing you for using my copyright theory.

Anyway, if you are here then let me tell you - There are three stages to any friendship with any girl.

Level I – when she calls you on her own.

Level II – When she shares every detail of the day with you.

Level III – This one is tricky. There is a very thin line between Level II and III. The answer is – when she confesses to you that she is down.

But trust me, it’s a really very awkward situation when she does that. Let me explain how.

So one of my friend, let’s say Paplu was a very good friend of let’s say Paplee. It was a warm summer day. The sun was at its peak. It will not be an exaggeration to say that it might have been the hottest day of the decade.

Paplee calls Paplu – Lets meet. Now Paplu was already at level II. They decide to meet at the cafeteria. Paplu was there at sharp 11.00; Paplee arrived at 11.32. She was looking tired and drained.

Paplu: Hey wassup. Late today? What happened?

Paplee: So if I am late one day, you will ask questions. What are you, my boyfriend now ?

Paplu: No!! No I was just asking – Are you ok?

Paplee: No, I am not feeling good.

Paplu: Yeah it’s the heat. You must be dehydarated. Right?

Paplee: Noooo…

Paplu: Head-ache?

Paplee: No, I am down.

(Paplu, of course, didn’t realize that ‘Down’ was ‘Down’. He thought…)

Paplu: Oh, so you are down with fever. It must be sun-stroke.

Paplee: No… I am DOWN.

(NOW Paplu got it)

Paplu: Oh.

(Awkward silence… more awkward silence… some more silence which is obviously awkward… this is not it, there are some more long scary moments of awkward silence)


Paplu: So coffee?

Paplee: NO…

(Awkward silence)

Paplu: Iced tea then?

Paplee: I told you no…

(More silence, definitely awkward)

Paplu: Hmmm… So lunch?

Paplee: Damn it. You are an idiot!

Paplee gets up and walks away….

Now you see why Paplu never got to Level III. I have never been to Level II. I don’t know anyone who has handled this Level III situation perfectly. I am sure there should be a way but what, how. I don’t know.

Still my question is: Why girls do this? I mean we never share if we have a night fall. We never share if we get fungal infection down there. I am not saying you are wrong. I just want to say – we are not the right person. We are not made to handle this that’s why we don’t get it. I mean either teach us the protocol to handle it or expect us to fail.

Well, I am still looking for answers. Let’s see if I ever get one…


JUMPER said...

Haha! Awesome post! "Paplee", "this is not it, there are some more brief moments of awkward silence"... LMAO'd all the way!

Pratik Gupta said...

Thanks a lot mayte :) Glad that you liked

Paplu said...

I love the last comment!...


Anonymous said...

Hilarious. Well, when a woman is down, she is undergoing 'emotional stress.'. She will bicker, shout, berate you and even not apologise. So, when a girl says she is down, leave her alone. If you do meet her just do less talking.

P.S: A girl tells a guy she is down only when she receives 'girl-like' vibes from that guy. :D

- Auspicious!