Monday, January 18, 2010

Michism - 1 / TOW the Condoms

I was feeling good this morning. Not like I was not feeling sleepy as usual but last night I did 3 good things, so I was feeling nice. Now 3 good things is generally one good thing, three times (done thrice) for me [;)]

But this time it was three all different things.

No, I haven’t invented some new technique to do the single good thing that all men/boys/children do.

But this time I read, I thought and I wrote and that too all in one night.

So, coming back to the point, I was reading this blog as per my official responsibilities and it reminded me of 3 good things.

[Now you can see why I started with 3 good things, you can see the similarity, the logic behind the start…c’mon don’t say it is lame!!]

Lemme describe the 3 good things to you:

1) 1) Michi: He is a person whose folk tales are famous around the country. He is more famous than any of his contemporary engineers, not because of his shear engineering capabilities but because of the games life plays with him. I am working a wiki entry + 13 fully dedicated blog post to him.

2) Uncle: He is a very important character of the story. He is funny, he is mysterious, he is a great salesman and above all he is a perv.

3) Michi: Now Michi is always a double product packaged into one. Its like, when you think the beer in the can is over; 2-3 drops always come out again. This is what Michi is. Whenever you believe, Life has done substantially bad to him; he finds some more ways to get himself further screwed.

Oh, there is one more character: Joshi…but don’t bother about him. He is just a looser who happens to be at the right place on the right time or at the right place on the wrong time (Note: wrong time for others). He neatly shoots it, documents it and then spreads it. He is a pro!! But we will have half or might be 3/5th of a post on him soon.

It was the year 2003. We were a bunch of 3 dudes who used to behave like idiots and expected to some day get their story turned into celluloid. [You can see the master plan worked actually]. So the plot started with a birthday invitation for a friend’s birthday party. We decided to oblige him with a gift and decided to contribute 35 bucks each...Oh I am sorry, but that was some other incident. I will get back to it in some other post…

So the following was the real incident. Me and Joshi were waiting for Michi in the market. Now Michi has a family filled with a whole lot businessmen. One of his uncles had his drug store in the market. Michi always believes in saving two things: time and money, and even more money.

So, while we were waiting, we got a call from Michi that he is on his way and asked us for a favour to buy some drug for his next door aunt.

[Have you ever seen the kind of guys who keep trying to impress the local aunts and uncles to get a chance to sleep with their daughters?! Michi was not like that. He was different.

His shear passion were the aunts themselves.]

He specially asked us to get the medicine from his uncle’s shop and tell his name, so that we can avail some special family discount.

So, me and Joshi after cursing Michi for all his family-boy-kinda-duties-he-perform, headed towards the drug store and asked for the medicines as told to us.

Meanwhile, this was the age when we used to have limited access to porn. The posters of the B-grade films, Saturday film section in newspaper and Pooja Bedi with her Marilyn Monroe act in “pehla nasha” were the only resources we had.

While in the drug store, how could we miss watching the aesthetically-taken-erotic-pics printed on the condom packets?!

The uncle, who was a sharp salesman as I mentioned before, observed this and moved a little towards us from across the counter and in a very low voice whispered: “chaiye kya??”

Fk man!! This was the most shocking moment of my life after when I was caught…err...let’s keep it secret. So, as the general behaviour theory says:

Step 1: Behave Innocent.

Step 2: Keep behaving like that until you get the chance to run.

Me/Joshi – We don’t want anything like that uncle. We don’t even know what that is.

Uncle: Naa naa, don’t worry. We have all the flavours. You like mango, we have that also. [For once I thought that it will be a good idea to fill some ice and make an ice candy but the imagination of final product was so gross that I couldn’t speak for the remaining part. Joshi handled it.]

Joshi: Uncle, we are just kids. We are really not interested.

Uncle: Arey beta, it’s ok. There is a first time for everyone.

Twist - Michi Enters

Michi: Namastey chachaji ! How are you? These are my friends. I send them to take medicine from you. Can you arrange for that quickly?

Joshi: Dude, ask your uncle that we are not here to buy cooo…[ he was not even been able to complete that sentence, when the uncle interrupted in between]

Uncle: Arey beta, its fine. Give me 2 mins. I will arrange everything. You all wait outside.

We didn’t tell Michi the whole part of the story at that time, but during the course of life, we have raped him so much on this incident that he has stopped referring to all his family members’ shop.

What do we get?

Freedom from Michi’s recommendations/orders and plus now we know a place where we can get flavored condoms and that too without being asked.

Hail Michi!!!


Nipun said...

That was really fun.
Read about rubber a few days back and now the thing has shifted to condoms and that too Flavored.
An amazing story.
Will try something like this so that I can have my own experience..:)


P.S. It wasn't Michi's fault. Bechare ki lena band kr do..

Pratik Gupta said...

It was, It is and It will be Michi's fault for whatever is wrong in the world...if you don't believe it: wait for the subsequents post

rd said...


dont forget to put the terrace-mobile-ladki-pitai waala incident in your coming posts on michism

Pratik Gupta said...

@RD: Aye sir!! started working on tht one too :D
after that post, Michi will be legend. A warrior who fought with everything but cant win with his own luck ;)

konark said...

Miche bechara muft mai bik raha hai yet again :)

Pratik Gupta said...

@konark: tumhare comment ko kharidne ke liye bechare michi ko bechna pad gaya :D

susie said...

hahaa that was a fun read... :)

thanx for dropping by my blog

Sorcerer said...

thanks for referring my blog.
Dude..i like the cynicism in some sentences..

Err...SHARP SALES MAN!! wah wah!!

fantastically written dude..thank you so much for the nice read!

Pratik Gupta said...

@susie: Thanks and it was my pleasure !!

@sorcy: dude all credit to you!! you revived some old lost memories....thanks man!!

Kathryn said...

OHMYGOD! You must have been DYING to get the hell out of there!!

I would have tortured your friend forever as well for putting you through that!

Pratik Gupta said...

@kathryn: Yeah true. We are on it and we are making sure that he pays for his mistake till eternity

Manish Bagri said...

lol max.
@ nipun - what? experience :) wtf!
@ punchar - nicely written.

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Ramki said...

Dude.. Love ur blog! too good..

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Pratik Gupta said...

@ramki: Thanks man!! hope to make this space more fun for u in the future too

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