Friday, August 28, 2009

The 'H' factor

Everybody has their unique criteria to begin to hunt for girl. For some it’s the fair colour, for some it’s the vital stats but for me it’s the ‘H-Factor

Yes, the H factor. A for apple and H for height.

They say- 'you get some, you lose some'. I got extra 7-8 pounds, extremely deteriorated sense of humor , extra pair of eyes (specs) and in return I lost 1 foot of my height. I guess i have gained more...rite?

But this H factor has played a vital role throughout my life.

During the school days, in the assembly, queue was formed based on the ascending height order. I used to be the second in the queue from front. Yes! People shorter than me used to exist in those days. Abhishek was there at the first place. Sadly, last time I met him, he was looking down and I was looking up while talking.

Anyways, back in the fifth grade I used to feel proud to lead the assembly queue. Later in the time when hormonal changes occur, hair comes out from all parts of the body and u feel the sensation of pehla pyar pehli pehli baar – it was then I realized that being a leader in the queue is the most stupid thing. People at the back side have the advantage of talking, chatting. But what u gets for being in the front is standing in the attention position for fucking 30 mins in the temp of 45-48 degrees.

The additional advantage for shorter dudes like me was that in our school sitting arrangement was based on height for some duration in some grade. I am not sure of exact figure. Now I used to fall in the average gals height in those days. (Now, I am below average in this category too). So it was the rainy days of my life. The days which every (normal) dude dreams about. Girls all around with only me and Abhishek in the middle and that too when Abhishek was not much of a competition. Yes! I was the prince back then. (Alas, gone are the days! Fuck JEE, Fuck life)

I was proud of my below average height. What to shame about it- (Sir) Sachin is not tall. I used to compare myself with Sachin but later I realize I was the VRV Singh in the talent. And when you have the talent of that level, you ought to have height. But Alas, again.

I used to measure myself on the wall of my house. In my 10th grade I put a mark there and this summer after my graduation, I went home only to find that I am still marking the same height. WTF?

The only advantage which I have still enjoyed till now and hope to enjoy for the coming whole life is instant recognizability.

Gal X: Hey you know that guy from our batch?

Gal Y: Which one?

Gal X: The little guy. The smaller one which looks quite short.

Gal Y (smiling): Yeah, I remember. What about him?

Gal X: He is so hot na! I have a crush on him. [Oh okay, that’s me. Dreaming again.]


My mom used to console me that "don’t worry, there are chances for the height to increase till the age of 21."

21st birthday came and gone.

22 also came and now it’s the turn for 23.

I trust you mama and I am still waiting.

22 comments:

satyan said...

bloody indian

Pratik Gupta said...

@satyan: indian born confused videshi asole

INFERNO said...

People with smaller heights had been casanovas, be it salman khan, tom cruise or even hugh hefner, all were "short" but got great shots at the "taller" ones. Maybe something on similar lines is instored, so maybe u'll get continuity of girls with H-factor

Pratik Gupta said...

@inferno: thx buddy [:)] and the hugh hefner thing...whoaa!!

Abhishek said...

Think of it this way, the lesser of you there is, the lesser she gets, the more she wants, the more you get. It doesn't make much sense but it sure as hell helps!

Pratik Gupta said...

@abhishek: the gawdest awesomest beshtesht philosphy i ever come across....so now the only problem is to find 'she'.

Indigo Lobster said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Indigo Lobster said...

tere liye koi sympathy nahi ..
peechle janam ke paap honge

Ashish said...

@ pratik : koi nahi bey. vertical height nahi hai toh kya hua, horizontal height important hai. ab uske upar koi post mat likhna :P

ps: "didi" ki height bahut jyada hai. sutta share karne mein takleef ho sakti hai :D

Pratik Gupta said...

@indigo: dude yeh kaise paap hai jisme insaan agle janam mein chota ho jata hai [:)]

Pratik Gupta said...

@ashish: u just crushed my next topic on horrizontal height" and abt 'didi': didi nahin to aunty sahi [:)]

Nipun said...

somyhing philo:
Bada hua to kya hua jaise ped khajoor,
panti ko chhaya nahi, fal laage ati door...
Buk up bhaiya.....

priyanka said...

hehe.....v creative "h" factor...

Anupam Chakilam said...

well written mate:)
and height is just in the heel of the beholder;)

Pratik Gupta said...

@nipun: kabeer ke dohon ka validity expire ho chuka hai. Its the time for Baba ramdev

@pri: thanks sis!! [:)] even u crossed me now... that's so not fair for a younger sister to do.

@Anupam: well said. thanks man!! [:)]

saurabh said...

bhai.. dukhti nas pe haath rakh diya... same haalat thi meri bhi school mei... :P

Prakrati said...

see there u go again..hunting...!!ur fate deserves more than that.

bdw u can kill even when u r not hunting..!!

Pratik Gupta said...

@saurabh: welcome to the clun bro!

@prakrati: really?? finally my killer looks got the recognition [:)]

Manu Dev Gupta / gilly@iitmadras said...

lol.....
mazedaar hai yaar...kamaal ka likh rahe aajkal aap

Pratik Gupta said...

Thanks gilly!!

Tangerine said...

lol!
luved ur post. :D

Pratik Gupta said...

tangy: thanks a lot!! gud to see you back [:)]