Saturday, June 27, 2009

Spoof of Newyork - 'Chennai'

Last night our biotechie expert ashtung shared a very special info with us. He told us that aids originally came from Africa and the reason is, it used to exist among monkeys but somebody fucked some monkey there and Bingo!!


So that’s how it all started


But don’t you think that was pretty obvious. I mean you are for god sake fucking your forefathers. You respect them, you fight them but you don’t fuck them. You fuck them for once and they fuck you forever.


okay so back to the point.


It’s a story about 3 guys, Satyan, Sajal, and Ashu.


Sajal and Satyan are basically Sri lankans who are living in Chennai from their childhood. Ashu comes from Colombo and join them in college. For ashu, Sajal was the love at first sight but it was always unsaid as it always is. Later it turns out that Sajal and Satyan are already fucking each other and ashu feel buttfucked. So he leaves the college and joins some IT firm in Coimbatore.


7 years later….


[Meanwhile there was anti Sri-Lankan riots spread across the city. Satyan was arrested on the charges of cheering Jayasuriya and then kept in custody for a week. 3rd degree torture was given to him. During his stay in adyar police station Satyan kept shouting:


“I am a SOUTH INDIAN.”


“Gimme my ‘lungi’ back.”


“I don’t want to eat sub. Gimme curd rice.”]


Later Satyan was released and forms and anti-Tamil group. On the other side Ashu was forced by CBI to infiltrate Satyan’s gang. So after 7 years, our buttfucked side hero returns back to Chennai to meet Satyan and Sajal living a happily married life with an adopted son.


Finally after some clichéd twist and turns, Ashu was able to infiltrate into Satyan’s gang and he get the information that Satyan is planning something big. Now Ashu is the biggest dumbass in the movie who is never able to see things straight. I mean not sexually but in all aspects of life. No body in the gang gives a shit about him, nobody discusses anything with him and he just keep roaming around dreaming about Sajal. Later he was able to convince Sajal also that they should buttfuck Satyan in his big plan.


Finally they are able to get the info that something is going to happen between India- SL match. Ashu conveys the information to CBI.


Match day…..

Security was very tight. Satyan disguised in the makeup of IIT PhD. Scholar enters into stadium. Now nobody knows what he is planning and what he is upto. Choppers are making rounds over stadium, snipers ready to shoot from every nook and corner.


Rameez raja –“So match start here finally. Jayasuriya start hitting again and my god! That is some serious hitting. Even afridi couldn’t hit like that. Here is a change in bowling attack. Virendra singh comes on attack. He has been in tremendous form in IPL and was purple cap holder. Oh I am sorry, that was RP singh. Its Virendra sehwag who has been brought back into attack.


Off the field everybody was waiting for the Satyan’s next move. Sajal tried calling to Satyan but low battery played the spoilsport. Everybody is tensed. Sweat dripping on Satyan’s face when he decides to make the final move.


Suddenly, everybody is on their toes. The whole stadium is shocked. No body has ever seen this thing in India. No body can believe their eyes. It was the most daring acts in the history of notorioity.


Here is a nude streaker on the field. And he is none other than Satyan. With a waist of 38, he is running pretty fast across the field. He has done his homework, he is clean shaved, has the latest hairstyle and yes my friend you are right, those are the fucking ray-ban glasses.


But suddenly he started running towards Jayasuriya. CBI officers gave the nod and snipers from all round the stadium took the shot. But he keeps running towards the batsmen. Finally he was able to shake hand with Jayasuriya. Last bullet came straight through his hearts. His last words were –“you rock, bro”


Sajal and Ashu lived happily after.

8 comments:

saurabh said...

satyan and new york buttfucked :P

Pratik Gupta said...

@saurabh: you forgot rameez raza...thats my fav part actually [:)]

Tangerine said...

Some imagination man!! :D

Pratik Gupta said...

yeah i am completely free now and blank mind is always creative...u see [:)]

saurabh said...

hail to rameez raza.. he kicks the cricket out of commentary...

JUMPER said...

haha!!! that's funny!!!

Pratik Gupta said...

@saurabh: rameez rocks man...search some youtube vids...u will see that he has attained new heights now...

@jumper: thx mate!!

Abhishek said...

mind-fucking-blowing! i am awed by this piece. you have stepped out of the crease and hit the ball out of the park. rameez raja was spot on. one could have guessed it even if you hadn't given the name away. but the best part for me was something that probably has gone unnoticed for most:
(on AIDS being spread through sex with monkeys)
"But don’t you think that was pretty obvious. I mean you are for god sake fucking your forefathers. You respect them, you fight them but you don’t fuck them. You fuck them for once and they fuck you forever."
I bow to thy words!